HNHNHNGN MAKE IT STOP.
Disclaimer: These are only games I’VE played. So don’t get all worked up.
Anyway, I don’t like introductions, let’s get to the list.
NUMBER 5
Hoo boy.
#5: Animatronics, Five Nights at Freddy’s Series
I’m sorry, but they’re all equally horrifying.
Not a single animatronic in the series has failed to make me squirm.
The FNAF 1 animatronics, eh, maybe.
But at the time they were still unsettling and them looking at you through the door...*shiver*
FNAF 2? Staring at you in the halls and vents.
FNAF 3? No light can save you.
FNAF 4? You’re too busy crying to notice anything.
Sister Location? Behind you...
Pizzeria Simulator? Good god, kill it with fire! Oh, yeah, they did...
Why is it not higher?
Well...people have standards. I bet all of you reading this would say I’m a weeb.
But still.
NEXT!
NUMBER 4
We shape our tools, then our tools shape us.
#4: Guardians, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
I first got my Switch on release.
And Breath of the Wild on release.
What I didn’t expect was THOSE.
Those THINGS.
The things that turned the lively land of Hyrule into a glorious wasteland.
Every town you’ve come to know in the series is decimated, leaving only ruins.
That’s dark.
REALLY DARK.
They were immobile at first, but later on...hoo boy.
Freaking sausages.
You can cut off their legs at one point, but IT LOOKS REALLY HARD.
Do I dare mention that they almost KILLED Link?
AND the Master Sword?
You know, the legendary weapon forged by gods and became the tool to seal all darkness.
Much damage. Wow.
NUMBER 3
This is something Nintendo will never mention again.
Enjoy it while you can.
#3: The Shroobs, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
This is a dark Mario game.
Toadwood Forest is where the Shroobs forced Toads to go. The trees sucked the life force out of the Toads, draining their energy.
The energy is sent to the Vim Factory, where the Toads’ life energy is reused for Shroob UFOs.
This sinister, evil deeds were done by none other than Elder Princess Shroob.
The only funny part is the obesity.
Everything else? Prepare your buns, for buns that you so hold dear.
A literal MONSTER is revealed.
Cackletta got nothing on this burger-flippers.
JESUS is this still a Mario game about the bros finding their past selves?
Apparently.
This was an incredibly horrifying final boss, no less, no more.
You: Uh actually Dope the final boss was Shrows—
SH!
NUMBER 2
To the conveyors.
To the shelves.
To the toys.
To the back room.
There is no back room.
#2: Totem Mimikyu, Pokémon Sun/Pokémon Moon
Why can’t I give this spot to the whole species?
1. It’s horrifyingly hard.
2. It’s built up to be scary.
After partaking in the Ghost Trial on Ula’Ula, you’ll never be the same.
The Abandoned Megamart, huh? Sounds like hell.
Creepy happenings everywhere, and your only key to survival is the PokéFinder.
And if you don’t have one?
My friend, you have kicked the bucket.
Gastly, Haunter, Gengar.
The totem has to be something harmless, right?
Left.
The back room is filled with...w-with...I’m getting choked up just thinking about it.
With pictures of Pikachu.
You were following a Pikachu through the whole store and it was just an illusion.
Those noises...aaaah they’re so unsettling.
And the MUSIC!
I thought I wasn’t gonna die in a Pokémon game!
NUMBER 1
❄☟☜☼☜ ✋ ☠⚐ ☜✌☜
#1: The Amalgamites, UNDERTALE
After some serious “Get up and live life!”ing, Doctor Alphys decides to face her biggest fears head-on.
They’re not just monsters.
They’re monsters she created.
A Royal Guardsdog.
A bird.
SNOWDRAKE’S MOM.
Okay, I’m sorry, that one’s the scariest.
Just play the game, you’ll see what I mean.
At the end of the True Pacifist route, their summary is “Living With Their Families.”
Stop.
Just stop.
This is being the Dopest of Leafeon, and have a wonderful Halloween!
Disclaimer: These are only games I’VE played. So don’t get all worked up.
Anyway, I don’t like introductions, let’s get to the list.
NUMBER 5
Hoo boy.
#5: Animatronics, Five Nights at Freddy’s Series
I’m sorry, but they’re all equally horrifying.
Not a single animatronic in the series has failed to make me squirm.
The FNAF 1 animatronics, eh, maybe.
But at the time they were still unsettling and them looking at you through the door...*shiver*
FNAF 2? Staring at you in the halls and vents.
FNAF 3? No light can save you.
FNAF 4? You’re too busy crying to notice anything.
Sister Location? Behind you...
Pizzeria Simulator? Good god, kill it with fire! Oh, yeah, they did...
Why is it not higher?
Well...people have standards. I bet all of you reading this would say I’m a weeb.
But still.
NEXT!
NUMBER 4
We shape our tools, then our tools shape us.
#4: Guardians, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
I first got my Switch on release.
And Breath of the Wild on release.
What I didn’t expect was THOSE.
Those THINGS.
The things that turned the lively land of Hyrule into a glorious wasteland.
Every town you’ve come to know in the series is decimated, leaving only ruins.
That’s dark.
REALLY DARK.
They were immobile at first, but later on...hoo boy.
Freaking sausages.
You can cut off their legs at one point, but IT LOOKS REALLY HARD.
Do I dare mention that they almost KILLED Link?
AND the Master Sword?
You know, the legendary weapon forged by gods and became the tool to seal all darkness.
Much damage. Wow.
NUMBER 3
This is something Nintendo will never mention again.
Enjoy it while you can.
#3: The Shroobs, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
This is a dark Mario game.
Toadwood Forest is where the Shroobs forced Toads to go. The trees sucked the life force out of the Toads, draining their energy.
The energy is sent to the Vim Factory, where the Toads’ life energy is reused for Shroob UFOs.
This sinister, evil deeds were done by none other than Elder Princess Shroob.
The only funny part is the obesity.
Everything else? Prepare your buns, for buns that you so hold dear.
A literal MONSTER is revealed.
Cackletta got nothing on this burger-flippers.
JESUS is this still a Mario game about the bros finding their past selves?
Apparently.
This was an incredibly horrifying final boss, no less, no more.
You: Uh actually Dope the final boss was Shrows—
SH!
NUMBER 2
To the conveyors.
To the shelves.
To the toys.
To the back room.
There is no back room.
#2: Totem Mimikyu, Pokémon Sun/Pokémon Moon
Why can’t I give this spot to the whole species?
1. It’s horrifyingly hard.
2. It’s built up to be scary.
After partaking in the Ghost Trial on Ula’Ula, you’ll never be the same.
The Abandoned Megamart, huh? Sounds like hell.
Creepy happenings everywhere, and your only key to survival is the PokéFinder.
And if you don’t have one?
My friend, you have kicked the bucket.
Gastly, Haunter, Gengar.
The totem has to be something harmless, right?
Left.
The back room is filled with...w-with...I’m getting choked up just thinking about it.
With pictures of Pikachu.
You were following a Pikachu through the whole store and it was just an illusion.
Those noises...aaaah they’re so unsettling.
And the MUSIC!
I thought I wasn’t gonna die in a Pokémon game!
NUMBER 1
❄☟☜☼☜ ✋ ☠⚐ ☜✌☜
#1: The Amalgamites, UNDERTALE
After some serious “Get up and live life!”ing, Doctor Alphys decides to face her biggest fears head-on.
They’re not just monsters.
They’re monsters she created.
A Royal Guardsdog.
A bird.
SNOWDRAKE’S MOM.
Okay, I’m sorry, that one’s the scariest.
Just play the game, you’ll see what I mean.
At the end of the True Pacifist route, their summary is “Living With Their Families.”
Stop.
Just stop.
This is being the Dopest of Leafeon, and have a wonderful Halloween!