Late Again
John rushed down the stairs, into the kitchen like a bolt of lightning.
“I’m so late,” he mumbled in between bites of his cereal.
“Bye mom,” he said as he put his bowl up, after he had washed it in the sink. Then he rushed outside in his car and started to drive to school.
John Stripe is a 17 year old junior who is a total perfectionist. His hair, his homework, even his eyelashes have to be completely perfect. But he has one problem. He is always late. Not because he spends time sleeping until the last minute, but because he is making himself look perfect. He’s always fixing his outfit, combing his hair, brushing his teeth, twice. After all of that he barely has enough time to at breakfast, and drive to school.
John rushed into the building right before the bell rang to start class. Notice how I said the building, not his 1st hour history class
“Yep, late again,” he mumbled bringing. His head down and trudging to class.
“Mr. Stripe, late again I see,” Mr. Smith greeted John as he came into the classroom. “Let this be a lesson to all of you, try to be on time.”
“Um sorry, Mr. Smith,” said John sheepishly.
“Well you should be, John, because I’m a very punctual man. I was even born on time. You are always late to my class. And next time you are late it's a detention,” he boomed at poor John.
John gasped when he heard this. If he got a detention, it wold ruin he’s perfect record. “But Mr. Smith, that isn’t fair, I'm only a few seconds late most of the time.” Pleaded John
“Well then, if that isn't fair how about this, Life isn't fair” he said glaring fiercely in John’s direction.
Deflated John sat down at his desk and did his work. John spent the day up until lunch racking his brain on a way for him to be one time for once.
“So John what are you having for lunch?” Asked Freddy, one of John’s buddies.
“Hey, you're always on time, right?” John asked his friend.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well how do you do that?”
“I ride the bus John, I just get on it and ride it to my house.
“Gosh darn it,” mumbled John. Then he turned to another one of his friends, Clyde. “What about you Clyde”?”
“John, I get there early in the morning,” said Clyde in between bites of his tuna fish sandwich.
“Oh”
“But why don't you get up earlier?”
“Then I’ll lose sleep.”
“Then go to bed earlier, John it isn't rocket science.”
“Fine,”
That night John went to bed a little earlier, and reluctantly got up earlier. He brushed his teeth twice, picked out his perfect outfit, and got himself ready for the day. He drove to school and arrived with time to spare. He walked to class and took his time when the bell rang and was sitting in his seat before the bell rang.
When the bell rang there was still no sign of Mr. Smith, until a flustered woman rushed in from the office and told the class, “Mr Smith got a ticket for speeding today and is going to be late.”
Murmurs almost immediately filled the class and John smiled. Having a dad for a police officer has some benefits.
The Bag on the Airplane
A man walked up to Luke in a limber fashion. He had a bald head, with a long brown overcoat that went down to his ankles. In his hands he held a small black bag. It had a strap and looked Ike it was made from leather.
“Hey kid, do want to make an easy buck?” Said the man in a shaky voice.
Luke turned to look at the man, “What's the catch?”
“No catch, just take this bag and leave it on the plane.”
“Is that it?”
“Yep.”
“What's in the bag?”
“Can't tell you.”
“Can I look?”
“Nope, you can't open this here bag or else no money.”
“How will you know if I open it on the plane?”
“I know people.”
Luke stopped and thought for a moment. This bag could be filled with explosives or drugs or something that would get him into jail.
“Don't worry about anything illegal in there,” said the man as if reading Luke's mind, “And besides it already made it through airport security.”
“But what about-“
“I said don't worry about it. I'll give you $2000 now and a friend of mine will give you $2000 when you reach Dallas.”
$4000! That would be enough money for Luke to buy a car That didn't have a billion miles and was about to like explode!
“Okay I'll except, but if I get any wind of this being a trap, or some kind of illegal stuff, and I'm getting rid of this bag and going to the police, so you better not be lying,” said Luke trying his best to be intimidating.
“Fine just hurry up and get on the pane or else you’ll miss your flight” said he man. Then he disappeared into the crowd of people, leaving Luke holding the bag.
Luke got on the plane and sat down in his seat still having an uneasy feeling. He leaned his head off and slowly drifted off to sleep.
About one hour later, he heard a slow ticking sound, coming from the bag. The bag sat on his lap. It wasn't moving but there was a solid ticking sound coming from the bag. Frantic thoughts filled Luke’s head. Was it a bomb, or maybe a grenade. Maybe worse. With shaky hands and scared glances around the cabin, he slowly opened the bag. There was a black blob resting inside the bag. It slowly raised and lowered like it was breathing, but every breath was a tick. Luke slowly gulped and reached inside the bag to touch it.
“Wait a minute! He sees a black blob that's maybe breathing, or is a bomb. So he decides to touch it!”
“Who are you?”
“Um, a fan.”
“GET OUT! I'm narrating in here!”
“Fine”
Door slams
So anyway, Luke reached out to touch the black blob. As Luke’s hand became nearer, the blob seemed to shrink down, as if to avoid Luke’s touch. Then as Luke’s hand finally touched it, the blob began to hiss. Luke pulled his hand out like he had been burned.
“What’s going on.” Shouted Luke. The blob started to glow. A loud screech filled the cabin. Then it exploded. Luke flew backwards smashed outside the window, leaving him at a free fall down towards the ground. In a last movement he closed his wearily closed his eyes.
Luke woke up on the bench inside the airport. It was all a dream. All of it. The man, the bag, the blob, the explosion. He reached back and scratched his head. It was all over. Then a bald man emerged from the crowd. He had a brown overcoat, and a black leather bag. Luke then saw him heading straight towards him.
“Not again!” Mumbled Luke. Then he ran into the crowd.
The bald man then stood there, phased by Luke's escape. “I guess he doesn't support the new petition.”
How to Kidnap a Baby
"Hey honey, what's that smell?" Asked George walking to their living room, "What are you doing!" Right in the middle of the living room, stood his newlywed wife standing over a crying baby, while she changed his diaper.
"Oh hey honey, come here and meet little James," said Gwen turning to face her husband.
"It has a name!" Shouted George.
"Of course silly. All our babies will have names. James is just a practice baby." Said Gwen in between giggles.
"Where did you get him?"
"Our neighbors."
"Haven't they been out of town for a few days. And they don't have a baby."
"They left a house sitter."
"So you stole this baby from our neighbor's house sitter."
"No, I borrowed him."
"Does she know you have her baby?"
"No, but she will when she reads the note I left. It super creative. I used different letters from magazines so it would look fancy."
George just stood there flabbergasted. His wife, whom he just married, just stole a baby. SHE JUST KIDNAPPED HIM! James laid on his back with his fresh diaper on crying for his mother. Then again George would too if he got kidnapped as a baby. Gwen just told there with her hair all frizzy and covering one side of her face. In her left hand she held a diaper filled with unholy things. George silently prayed she wouldn't drop that on the new clean carpet, that took three hours to clean.
"Just come here and meet little James."
"Honey you need to take him back and get rid of that note you left."
"Why?"
"Because you kind of illegally kidnapped someone's child."
"But he's so cute"
"Gwen," said George trying to make his voice sound stern.
"George, it'll be fine. I left a note,"
"You kidnapped him. You need to d-"
"No, no, no. We are going to take care of James for a little bit, so we can be ready for when we have kids." Gwen said gradually raising her voice.
“Who said anything about as having kids.”
“I did.”
“Don't I get a choice?”
“Well not really.”
“Why?”
“Because I really want a baby.”
“So is that why you kidnapped one?”
“No, this is our PRACTICE baby!” She shouted emphasizing the practice part.
“Fine, let me see him.”George slowly walked over to little James, who had quieted down some. “Aw look at this little guy.” He said picking up James. Then he ran. He sprinted out the door holding little James very tightly to keep him safe.He ran to their neighbors door and knocked very loudly.
An young lady opened the door and shouted, “Micheal!” Then she grabbed the baby and hugged him. “Why did you have him?” She asked George sternly.
“Umm my wife kind of kidnapped him.”
“She what!”
“Don't worry we’re about to go get her some help.”
Then George sprinted home. “Honey, let's go to the physiatrist! They're selling babies today”
“Okay the lets go!” Shouted Gwen running out the door to get into the car.
George sighed. He knew it was going to be a long marriage.
John rushed down the stairs, into the kitchen like a bolt of lightning.
“I’m so late,” he mumbled in between bites of his cereal.
“Bye mom,” he said as he put his bowl up, after he had washed it in the sink. Then he rushed outside in his car and started to drive to school.
John Stripe is a 17 year old junior who is a total perfectionist. His hair, his homework, even his eyelashes have to be completely perfect. But he has one problem. He is always late. Not because he spends time sleeping until the last minute, but because he is making himself look perfect. He’s always fixing his outfit, combing his hair, brushing his teeth, twice. After all of that he barely has enough time to at breakfast, and drive to school.
John rushed into the building right before the bell rang to start class. Notice how I said the building, not his 1st hour history class
“Yep, late again,” he mumbled bringing. His head down and trudging to class.
“Mr. Stripe, late again I see,” Mr. Smith greeted John as he came into the classroom. “Let this be a lesson to all of you, try to be on time.”
“Um sorry, Mr. Smith,” said John sheepishly.
“Well you should be, John, because I’m a very punctual man. I was even born on time. You are always late to my class. And next time you are late it's a detention,” he boomed at poor John.
John gasped when he heard this. If he got a detention, it wold ruin he’s perfect record. “But Mr. Smith, that isn’t fair, I'm only a few seconds late most of the time.” Pleaded John
“Well then, if that isn't fair how about this, Life isn't fair” he said glaring fiercely in John’s direction.
Deflated John sat down at his desk and did his work. John spent the day up until lunch racking his brain on a way for him to be one time for once.
“So John what are you having for lunch?” Asked Freddy, one of John’s buddies.
“Hey, you're always on time, right?” John asked his friend.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well how do you do that?”
“I ride the bus John, I just get on it and ride it to my house.
“Gosh darn it,” mumbled John. Then he turned to another one of his friends, Clyde. “What about you Clyde”?”
“John, I get there early in the morning,” said Clyde in between bites of his tuna fish sandwich.
“Oh”
“But why don't you get up earlier?”
“Then I’ll lose sleep.”
“Then go to bed earlier, John it isn't rocket science.”
“Fine,”
That night John went to bed a little earlier, and reluctantly got up earlier. He brushed his teeth twice, picked out his perfect outfit, and got himself ready for the day. He drove to school and arrived with time to spare. He walked to class and took his time when the bell rang and was sitting in his seat before the bell rang.
When the bell rang there was still no sign of Mr. Smith, until a flustered woman rushed in from the office and told the class, “Mr Smith got a ticket for speeding today and is going to be late.”
Murmurs almost immediately filled the class and John smiled. Having a dad for a police officer has some benefits.
The Bag on the Airplane
A man walked up to Luke in a limber fashion. He had a bald head, with a long brown overcoat that went down to his ankles. In his hands he held a small black bag. It had a strap and looked Ike it was made from leather.
“Hey kid, do want to make an easy buck?” Said the man in a shaky voice.
Luke turned to look at the man, “What's the catch?”
“No catch, just take this bag and leave it on the plane.”
“Is that it?”
“Yep.”
“What's in the bag?”
“Can't tell you.”
“Can I look?”
“Nope, you can't open this here bag or else no money.”
“How will you know if I open it on the plane?”
“I know people.”
Luke stopped and thought for a moment. This bag could be filled with explosives or drugs or something that would get him into jail.
“Don't worry about anything illegal in there,” said the man as if reading Luke's mind, “And besides it already made it through airport security.”
“But what about-“
“I said don't worry about it. I'll give you $2000 now and a friend of mine will give you $2000 when you reach Dallas.”
$4000! That would be enough money for Luke to buy a car That didn't have a billion miles and was about to like explode!
“Okay I'll except, but if I get any wind of this being a trap, or some kind of illegal stuff, and I'm getting rid of this bag and going to the police, so you better not be lying,” said Luke trying his best to be intimidating.
“Fine just hurry up and get on the pane or else you’ll miss your flight” said he man. Then he disappeared into the crowd of people, leaving Luke holding the bag.
Luke got on the plane and sat down in his seat still having an uneasy feeling. He leaned his head off and slowly drifted off to sleep.
About one hour later, he heard a slow ticking sound, coming from the bag. The bag sat on his lap. It wasn't moving but there was a solid ticking sound coming from the bag. Frantic thoughts filled Luke’s head. Was it a bomb, or maybe a grenade. Maybe worse. With shaky hands and scared glances around the cabin, he slowly opened the bag. There was a black blob resting inside the bag. It slowly raised and lowered like it was breathing, but every breath was a tick. Luke slowly gulped and reached inside the bag to touch it.
“Wait a minute! He sees a black blob that's maybe breathing, or is a bomb. So he decides to touch it!”
“Who are you?”
“Um, a fan.”
“GET OUT! I'm narrating in here!”
“Fine”
Door slams
So anyway, Luke reached out to touch the black blob. As Luke’s hand became nearer, the blob seemed to shrink down, as if to avoid Luke’s touch. Then as Luke’s hand finally touched it, the blob began to hiss. Luke pulled his hand out like he had been burned.
“What’s going on.” Shouted Luke. The blob started to glow. A loud screech filled the cabin. Then it exploded. Luke flew backwards smashed outside the window, leaving him at a free fall down towards the ground. In a last movement he closed his wearily closed his eyes.
Luke woke up on the bench inside the airport. It was all a dream. All of it. The man, the bag, the blob, the explosion. He reached back and scratched his head. It was all over. Then a bald man emerged from the crowd. He had a brown overcoat, and a black leather bag. Luke then saw him heading straight towards him.
“Not again!” Mumbled Luke. Then he ran into the crowd.
The bald man then stood there, phased by Luke's escape. “I guess he doesn't support the new petition.”
How to Kidnap a Baby
"Hey honey, what's that smell?" Asked George walking to their living room, "What are you doing!" Right in the middle of the living room, stood his newlywed wife standing over a crying baby, while she changed his diaper.
"Oh hey honey, come here and meet little James," said Gwen turning to face her husband.
"It has a name!" Shouted George.
"Of course silly. All our babies will have names. James is just a practice baby." Said Gwen in between giggles.
"Where did you get him?"
"Our neighbors."
"Haven't they been out of town for a few days. And they don't have a baby."
"They left a house sitter."
"So you stole this baby from our neighbor's house sitter."
"No, I borrowed him."
"Does she know you have her baby?"
"No, but she will when she reads the note I left. It super creative. I used different letters from magazines so it would look fancy."
George just stood there flabbergasted. His wife, whom he just married, just stole a baby. SHE JUST KIDNAPPED HIM! James laid on his back with his fresh diaper on crying for his mother. Then again George would too if he got kidnapped as a baby. Gwen just told there with her hair all frizzy and covering one side of her face. In her left hand she held a diaper filled with unholy things. George silently prayed she wouldn't drop that on the new clean carpet, that took three hours to clean.
"Just come here and meet little James."
"Honey you need to take him back and get rid of that note you left."
"Why?"
"Because you kind of illegally kidnapped someone's child."
"But he's so cute"
"Gwen," said George trying to make his voice sound stern.
"George, it'll be fine. I left a note,"
"You kidnapped him. You need to d-"
"No, no, no. We are going to take care of James for a little bit, so we can be ready for when we have kids." Gwen said gradually raising her voice.
“Who said anything about as having kids.”
“I did.”
“Don't I get a choice?”
“Well not really.”
“Why?”
“Because I really want a baby.”
“So is that why you kidnapped one?”
“No, this is our PRACTICE baby!” She shouted emphasizing the practice part.
“Fine, let me see him.”George slowly walked over to little James, who had quieted down some. “Aw look at this little guy.” He said picking up James. Then he ran. He sprinted out the door holding little James very tightly to keep him safe.He ran to their neighbors door and knocked very loudly.
An young lady opened the door and shouted, “Micheal!” Then she grabbed the baby and hugged him. “Why did you have him?” She asked George sternly.
“Umm my wife kind of kidnapped him.”
“She what!”
“Don't worry we’re about to go get her some help.”
Then George sprinted home. “Honey, let's go to the physiatrist! They're selling babies today”
“Okay the lets go!” Shouted Gwen running out the door to get into the car.
George sighed. He knew it was going to be a long marriage.