I just finished Kirby: Star Allies.
And if you want a review of it, just gimme a holler.
But the game also has some really neat bosses, so here are the ones from worst to best.
But before I start, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead!
Guardian of the Forest Whispy Woods & Old-Growth Elder Yggy Woods
This boss fight hasn't aged well.
Like, at all.
Whispy's been in almost every kirby game to date, and he really should be finding better things to do.
It's always the apples, the inhale, and immobility...HAL never brings anything new to the table for him.
And, don't get me wrong, I worship Whispy for how derpy he is, but honestly, he's not really all that special.
Mini-Bosses
When it comes to mini-bosses, HAL never disappoints.
Mr. Frosty and Chef Kawasaki return, but classics like Bonkers and Bugzzy return as well.
Not to mention the bearer of the Artist ability, Vividria.
I found myself enjoying these bosses, especially their EX forms, as they add creative new attacks to their moveset.
Big Bad Mama Grand Mam
In Starlight Heroes, you refight past bosses or fight a few new ones.
Grand Mam is the worst of the new ones.
If you want to git gud at this boss, you have to use Sizzle Cutter. Good luck otherwise.
If you don't have Sizzle Cutter, you have to wait until a Sir Kibble is summoned, kill it and gain it, wait for Gran Mam to punch the ground then cut her bomb arms off with what little time you have, then wait for a Burning Leo to spawn, kill it, get its ability, set fire to the bomb which will break through the armor, then attack it.
Rinse and repeat.
This fight was a bore to sit through, and honestly, it should've been the worst boss, but I guess at least this one has some references to some other enemies.
Blazing General Flamberge
You're on fiya, girl!
I feel like Flamberge is the worst of the Jambastion Mages just because she doesn't feel all that special.
I can easily seeing her get overshadowed by Francisca and Zan Partizanne.
And, whenever I run into her, I just groan.
I get that she mainly is based off of fire, but she just feels so unnecessarily mad for no reason.
Frozen General Francisca
Remember when I said I could easily see Flamberge get overshadowed by Francisca and Zan Partizanne?
Well speak of the devil.
I feel like I liked Francisca because she was the waifu of Star Allies.
She's the youngest of the sisters, but she has a predictable pattern.
I get that Zan Partizanne only uses electric attacks, but I feel like there was more personality behind them. She doesn't want to waste her time with you, she wants to get rid of you as soon as possible. Francisca's attacks were just attacks.
Lightning General Zan Partizanne
Comes with a batshit insane mode. 'Nuff said.
Cycloptic Stormcloud Kracko & Dual Thunderheads Twin Kracko
Kracko makes his next return, alongside Whispy.
But this time, HAL added new attacks, which I think is really cool.
Not to mention you can use the Chumbrella to dodge one of them.
Now that's paying attention to detail.
The only problem I have with this fight is that some attacks are really frustrating to dodge, because it takes Kirby about as much time to recover from them and Link falling down a mountain.
Dual Defenders Pon & Con
N'awww!
Just when you thought HAL forgot about these two, they make their return as hypnotized gatekeepers.
Even with their sinister looks, they're still adorable.
Sad that they replaced Lololo & Lalala probably, but I enjoyed their presence nonetheless. Not to mention Goldon and Silphox.
His Royal Nemesis King Dedede
The only reason I'm putting Dedede high on this list is because I know that remote person that's probably not reading this will choke me if I don't mention Buff Dedede.
So there.
Happy now?
The Lone Swordsman Meta Knight
This could be your average Meta Knight dual, but you can literally clash swords with him.
LITERALLY. CLASH. SWORDS. WITH. HIM.
Just because of this one simple detail, it felt more like a swordfight rather than a boss fight!
Haha! Nice try Meta Knight, but I blocked that attack!
Destroyer of Worlds Void Termina
You thought Star Dream was huge?
He's an ANT compared to this guy.
Unlike Star Dream, you're on the ground and you have to hit eyeballs instead of the body.
Sometimes the eyes can get obnoxious to get to, and I feel like this boss went on to long because of it.
Let alone the durability of the eyes.
Officiant of Doom Hyness
Hyness is, hands down, making Haltmann look like a hippie.
Haltmann was insane and all, but not insane enough to DRAIN THE WILLPOWER OF HIS COLLEAGUES AND USE THEM AS WEAPONS!
His first phase is ominous and all, but you know this guy wants to destroy you when he uses the Jambastion Mages as weapons.
He SUMMONS them!
They're probably thinking "Finally! Four against four!" But nope.
Before they could say a sentence, a word, a FREAKING LETTER, they're drained of their willpower and the only will left is their eyes.
THEIR EYES!
Reborn Butterfly Morpho Knight
OH MY GOD! HE KILLED GALACTA KNIGHT!
Okay, I get that Galacta Knight has died a lot and all, but this felt like a true death.
Because he was murdered by someone that's not Meta Knight!
SPEAKING of Meta Knight!
He's Meta Knight's beta design!
Okay, that's pretty cool.
Not gonna lie.
But I'm glad they made his design canon instead of fighting Galacta Knight for like the third time.
I think it was the third time, right...?
Essence of Chaos Void Soul
OHMYGODILOVETHISBOSSSOMUCH!
HE LOOKS LIKE KIRBY BUT HE'S ACTUALLY DARK MATTER!
DARK MATTER IS BACK!
HE TURNS YOUR FRIENDS AGAINST YOU SO YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR HEARTS TO GET THEM BACK!
AND THEN HE USES A MASTER CROWN-SHAPES LASER TO KILL YOU!
AND YOU HAVE TO PUT BUTTON COMBINATIONS IN THE USE A LASER BACK!
AND THEN YOU SUMMON EVERY KIRBY CHARACTER TO DEAL THE FINISHING BLOW!
This is, hands down, the best boss fight in Kirby: Star Allies.
No, I take it back.
This is the best boss fight in the HISTORY of Kirby.
Yeah, I said it.
And that's my opinion.
So don't go telling me I got something wrong, because it's my opinion.
This is being the Dopest of Leafeon!
And I hope you all have a fabulous day!
And if you want a review of it, just gimme a holler.
But the game also has some really neat bosses, so here are the ones from worst to best.
But before I start, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead!
Guardian of the Forest Whispy Woods & Old-Growth Elder Yggy Woods
This boss fight hasn't aged well.
Like, at all.
Whispy's been in almost every kirby game to date, and he really should be finding better things to do.
It's always the apples, the inhale, and immobility...HAL never brings anything new to the table for him.
And, don't get me wrong, I worship Whispy for how derpy he is, but honestly, he's not really all that special.
Mini-Bosses
When it comes to mini-bosses, HAL never disappoints.
Mr. Frosty and Chef Kawasaki return, but classics like Bonkers and Bugzzy return as well.
Not to mention the bearer of the Artist ability, Vividria.
I found myself enjoying these bosses, especially their EX forms, as they add creative new attacks to their moveset.
Big Bad Mama Grand Mam
In Starlight Heroes, you refight past bosses or fight a few new ones.
Grand Mam is the worst of the new ones.
If you want to git gud at this boss, you have to use Sizzle Cutter. Good luck otherwise.
If you don't have Sizzle Cutter, you have to wait until a Sir Kibble is summoned, kill it and gain it, wait for Gran Mam to punch the ground then cut her bomb arms off with what little time you have, then wait for a Burning Leo to spawn, kill it, get its ability, set fire to the bomb which will break through the armor, then attack it.
Rinse and repeat.
This fight was a bore to sit through, and honestly, it should've been the worst boss, but I guess at least this one has some references to some other enemies.
Blazing General Flamberge
You're on fiya, girl!
I feel like Flamberge is the worst of the Jambastion Mages just because she doesn't feel all that special.
I can easily seeing her get overshadowed by Francisca and Zan Partizanne.
And, whenever I run into her, I just groan.
I get that she mainly is based off of fire, but she just feels so unnecessarily mad for no reason.
Frozen General Francisca
Remember when I said I could easily see Flamberge get overshadowed by Francisca and Zan Partizanne?
Well speak of the devil.
I feel like I liked Francisca because she was the waifu of Star Allies.
She's the youngest of the sisters, but she has a predictable pattern.
I get that Zan Partizanne only uses electric attacks, but I feel like there was more personality behind them. She doesn't want to waste her time with you, she wants to get rid of you as soon as possible. Francisca's attacks were just attacks.
Lightning General Zan Partizanne
Comes with a batshit insane mode. 'Nuff said.
Cycloptic Stormcloud Kracko & Dual Thunderheads Twin Kracko
Kracko makes his next return, alongside Whispy.
But this time, HAL added new attacks, which I think is really cool.
Not to mention you can use the Chumbrella to dodge one of them.
Now that's paying attention to detail.
The only problem I have with this fight is that some attacks are really frustrating to dodge, because it takes Kirby about as much time to recover from them and Link falling down a mountain.
Dual Defenders Pon & Con
N'awww!
Just when you thought HAL forgot about these two, they make their return as hypnotized gatekeepers.
Even with their sinister looks, they're still adorable.
Sad that they replaced Lololo & Lalala probably, but I enjoyed their presence nonetheless. Not to mention Goldon and Silphox.
His Royal Nemesis King Dedede
The only reason I'm putting Dedede high on this list is because I know that remote person that's probably not reading this will choke me if I don't mention Buff Dedede.
So there.
Happy now?
The Lone Swordsman Meta Knight
This could be your average Meta Knight dual, but you can literally clash swords with him.
LITERALLY. CLASH. SWORDS. WITH. HIM.
Just because of this one simple detail, it felt more like a swordfight rather than a boss fight!
Haha! Nice try Meta Knight, but I blocked that attack!
Destroyer of Worlds Void Termina
You thought Star Dream was huge?
He's an ANT compared to this guy.
Unlike Star Dream, you're on the ground and you have to hit eyeballs instead of the body.
Sometimes the eyes can get obnoxious to get to, and I feel like this boss went on to long because of it.
Let alone the durability of the eyes.
Officiant of Doom Hyness
Hyness is, hands down, making Haltmann look like a hippie.
Haltmann was insane and all, but not insane enough to DRAIN THE WILLPOWER OF HIS COLLEAGUES AND USE THEM AS WEAPONS!
His first phase is ominous and all, but you know this guy wants to destroy you when he uses the Jambastion Mages as weapons.
He SUMMONS them!
They're probably thinking "Finally! Four against four!" But nope.
Before they could say a sentence, a word, a FREAKING LETTER, they're drained of their willpower and the only will left is their eyes.
THEIR EYES!
Reborn Butterfly Morpho Knight
OH MY GOD! HE KILLED GALACTA KNIGHT!
Okay, I get that Galacta Knight has died a lot and all, but this felt like a true death.
Because he was murdered by someone that's not Meta Knight!
SPEAKING of Meta Knight!
He's Meta Knight's beta design!
Okay, that's pretty cool.
Not gonna lie.
But I'm glad they made his design canon instead of fighting Galacta Knight for like the third time.
I think it was the third time, right...?
Essence of Chaos Void Soul
OHMYGODILOVETHISBOSSSOMUCH!
HE LOOKS LIKE KIRBY BUT HE'S ACTUALLY DARK MATTER!
DARK MATTER IS BACK!
HE TURNS YOUR FRIENDS AGAINST YOU SO YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR HEARTS TO GET THEM BACK!
AND THEN HE USES A MASTER CROWN-SHAPES LASER TO KILL YOU!
AND YOU HAVE TO PUT BUTTON COMBINATIONS IN THE USE A LASER BACK!
AND THEN YOU SUMMON EVERY KIRBY CHARACTER TO DEAL THE FINISHING BLOW!
This is, hands down, the best boss fight in Kirby: Star Allies.
No, I take it back.
This is the best boss fight in the HISTORY of Kirby.
Yeah, I said it.
And that's my opinion.
So don't go telling me I got something wrong, because it's my opinion.
This is being the Dopest of Leafeon!
And I hope you all have a fabulous day!