The bus jolts as it comes to a stop, and I pick up my bag, and Chandelure nudges me, looks at me, as if to say, "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"
I nod. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I'd tell her, if only this bus weren't so crowded, and I didn't want to look like a lunatic, talking to my pokemon. There are lots of pokemon on this bus, actually, small ones, all with trainers giggling and squealing with anticipation as they rush off into Driftveil City, in the hopes of gym badges, and ribbons, and princess keys. Not me, though. I've come here for...A different purpose.
I thank the bus driver as Chandelure and I head into the city. Then we go through some trees right behind an abandoned warehouse. There's a trainer, practicing some contest trick with her watchdog there. We ignore her, and continue on.
We pass through a small forest. We cut down some overgrown shrubbery. We crawl through a wire fence. and I manage to nick my trouserleg on it. I'm a little pissed off, cuz I really like the jeans I have on today, but that doesn't matter.
Chandelure and I arrive at a large, abandoned building. It's only recently been abandoned, and there isn't even any graffiti on it yet. We've arrived.
I shudder, and Chandelure floats closer to me, giving me a worried look. I appreciate her gesture. Then, I take a deep breath, and force myself inside. Inside the complex I lived in for fourteen years.
You see, the building we're at used to be where all of the members of Saint Sophia's Church Of Arceus The Almighty lived. My parents joined this church long before I was born, and I was born and raised here.
The first room that Chandelure and I stop at is my old classroom. There are still broken pencils, and whiteboards, and a little toy delcatty, rotting quietly on the floor. This is where I went to school. I wasn't taught normal lessons, however, like English, and Maths, and Battle Theory. No, I only learned about Arceus. About how he created the universe, and about how pokemon battles were a sin, and about how the leader of this church, Saint Sophia, had Arceus come to her every night, and whisper what he wanted her to do to us in her ear...
No wonder that when I escaped, people seriously asked me if I was retarded. I couldn't do simple maths, or science, and I knew nothing about Pokémon battles. I never learned any of that at school, and up until recently, I didn't know that battling was not a sin. That it was just a thing that everybody does.
I walk out of the classroom, and head down three flights of stairs. Then I see it. The room where my entire family, all nine of us, were housed.
Chandelure looks around the room with great curiosity, as I sit on my mum's bunk. The bedsheets, mattress, pillow, and duvet, are all gone, leaving just an empty frame for me to perch on. This tiny little room was where Saint Sophia kept us. She, meanwhile, had four separate rooms to herself, with a king-size bed, and a T.V, and a fridge full of pastries and chocolate. She said that Arceus granted her these privileges, because she was his favourite saint, and that if we were good, Arceus might grant us these same privileges too.
"Saint Sophia was a right greedy bitch, eh, Chandelure?" I remark, as we leave the room, "Thought she was above the rest of us..."
Chandelure nods.
It takes me about five minutes, to talk myself into where we're going next. It's where I was abused. Where I watched my siblings die. Where Saint Sophia stood and prayed to Arceus, like it was supposed to do something to help.
Chandelure stops me, as I go down six flights of stairs, all the way to the basement. She stops me, as I try to stand in the doorframe. I know what she's doing. I know she doesn't want me to go in there, because it will bring my very worst memories to the surface. I know she thinks that if I confront them, I'll be traumatised all over again...
But I have to. It's the only way I'll be able to let go of them.
"Move, Chandelure," I order coldly. She obeys.
My pulse quickens. I break into a cold sweat. She stays near me, wanting to reassure me. I look around, take note of what's in the room. A table. Saint Sophia's robe. Chairs. Big plastic chairs.
This is where Saint Sophia would try to 'heal' us, when we got sick.
Saint Sophia said that doctors and medicine were against Arceus. So instead, she'd beg him to heal us, when we were ill. She'd beg, and beg, and beg, and nothing would happen. So she'd beat us. Call us nasty names. Say that we were unworthy of having Arceus come in and heal us, because we didn't worship her enough.
I start feeling nauseous. I throw up. I do it on Saint Sophia's old robe, just to spite her, even though she'd dead now. Chandelure tries to pat me on the back.
Saint Sophia killed my siblings. Mary, Noah, Paul, John, Magdelene, and Joseph. If only she'd stopped being a stupid narcissistic bitch and called an ambulance, Mary's appendicitis could have been treated. If only she'd taken Noah to a hospital instead of praying, he wouldn't have died of his untreated diabetes. If only she hadn't beaten Paul for not being faithful enough, he wouldn't have died.
My chest feels tight, so I open my bag, and use my inhaler. Heh. Lucky for me, I escaped at the age of fourteen. Even luckier, I suppose, that I didn't develop asthma until after I got out of here. Saint Sophia would've had a heart attack if she saw me using it. Would've served her right. But no, she hung herself after somebody tipped the police off about what was going on here. She told everybody that Arceus wanted her to go home. Stupid bitch.
I take something else from my bag. A bouquet of flowers, which I bought just for today. I wanted to give my siblings the goodbye they deserved, and not the unmarked graves that they got.
I line up one chair for each of them. I place a flower on each one. I write their names. I say a few words about them, about how wonderful they all were. How Mary had the best singing voice. How John used to read to me. How Noah used to make great belue berry pie.
And then, for the first time in years, I feel at peace.
I've let go. I've accepted that I can't change my past. But what I can do, is create a happy future. It's what they would have wanted, I know it.
I leave the building with Chandelure. I catch the bus back to my new home in Castelia City.
I'm finally free
I nod. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I'd tell her, if only this bus weren't so crowded, and I didn't want to look like a lunatic, talking to my pokemon. There are lots of pokemon on this bus, actually, small ones, all with trainers giggling and squealing with anticipation as they rush off into Driftveil City, in the hopes of gym badges, and ribbons, and princess keys. Not me, though. I've come here for...A different purpose.
I thank the bus driver as Chandelure and I head into the city. Then we go through some trees right behind an abandoned warehouse. There's a trainer, practicing some contest trick with her watchdog there. We ignore her, and continue on.
We pass through a small forest. We cut down some overgrown shrubbery. We crawl through a wire fence. and I manage to nick my trouserleg on it. I'm a little pissed off, cuz I really like the jeans I have on today, but that doesn't matter.
Chandelure and I arrive at a large, abandoned building. It's only recently been abandoned, and there isn't even any graffiti on it yet. We've arrived.
I shudder, and Chandelure floats closer to me, giving me a worried look. I appreciate her gesture. Then, I take a deep breath, and force myself inside. Inside the complex I lived in for fourteen years.
You see, the building we're at used to be where all of the members of Saint Sophia's Church Of Arceus The Almighty lived. My parents joined this church long before I was born, and I was born and raised here.
The first room that Chandelure and I stop at is my old classroom. There are still broken pencils, and whiteboards, and a little toy delcatty, rotting quietly on the floor. This is where I went to school. I wasn't taught normal lessons, however, like English, and Maths, and Battle Theory. No, I only learned about Arceus. About how he created the universe, and about how pokemon battles were a sin, and about how the leader of this church, Saint Sophia, had Arceus come to her every night, and whisper what he wanted her to do to us in her ear...
No wonder that when I escaped, people seriously asked me if I was retarded. I couldn't do simple maths, or science, and I knew nothing about Pokémon battles. I never learned any of that at school, and up until recently, I didn't know that battling was not a sin. That it was just a thing that everybody does.
I walk out of the classroom, and head down three flights of stairs. Then I see it. The room where my entire family, all nine of us, were housed.
Chandelure looks around the room with great curiosity, as I sit on my mum's bunk. The bedsheets, mattress, pillow, and duvet, are all gone, leaving just an empty frame for me to perch on. This tiny little room was where Saint Sophia kept us. She, meanwhile, had four separate rooms to herself, with a king-size bed, and a T.V, and a fridge full of pastries and chocolate. She said that Arceus granted her these privileges, because she was his favourite saint, and that if we were good, Arceus might grant us these same privileges too.
"Saint Sophia was a right greedy bitch, eh, Chandelure?" I remark, as we leave the room, "Thought she was above the rest of us..."
Chandelure nods.
It takes me about five minutes, to talk myself into where we're going next. It's where I was abused. Where I watched my siblings die. Where Saint Sophia stood and prayed to Arceus, like it was supposed to do something to help.
Chandelure stops me, as I go down six flights of stairs, all the way to the basement. She stops me, as I try to stand in the doorframe. I know what she's doing. I know she doesn't want me to go in there, because it will bring my very worst memories to the surface. I know she thinks that if I confront them, I'll be traumatised all over again...
But I have to. It's the only way I'll be able to let go of them.
"Move, Chandelure," I order coldly. She obeys.
My pulse quickens. I break into a cold sweat. She stays near me, wanting to reassure me. I look around, take note of what's in the room. A table. Saint Sophia's robe. Chairs. Big plastic chairs.
This is where Saint Sophia would try to 'heal' us, when we got sick.
Saint Sophia said that doctors and medicine were against Arceus. So instead, she'd beg him to heal us, when we were ill. She'd beg, and beg, and beg, and nothing would happen. So she'd beat us. Call us nasty names. Say that we were unworthy of having Arceus come in and heal us, because we didn't worship her enough.
I start feeling nauseous. I throw up. I do it on Saint Sophia's old robe, just to spite her, even though she'd dead now. Chandelure tries to pat me on the back.
Saint Sophia killed my siblings. Mary, Noah, Paul, John, Magdelene, and Joseph. If only she'd stopped being a stupid narcissistic bitch and called an ambulance, Mary's appendicitis could have been treated. If only she'd taken Noah to a hospital instead of praying, he wouldn't have died of his untreated diabetes. If only she hadn't beaten Paul for not being faithful enough, he wouldn't have died.
My chest feels tight, so I open my bag, and use my inhaler. Heh. Lucky for me, I escaped at the age of fourteen. Even luckier, I suppose, that I didn't develop asthma until after I got out of here. Saint Sophia would've had a heart attack if she saw me using it. Would've served her right. But no, she hung herself after somebody tipped the police off about what was going on here. She told everybody that Arceus wanted her to go home. Stupid bitch.
I take something else from my bag. A bouquet of flowers, which I bought just for today. I wanted to give my siblings the goodbye they deserved, and not the unmarked graves that they got.
I line up one chair for each of them. I place a flower on each one. I write their names. I say a few words about them, about how wonderful they all were. How Mary had the best singing voice. How John used to read to me. How Noah used to make great belue berry pie.
And then, for the first time in years, I feel at peace.
I've let go. I've accepted that I can't change my past. But what I can do, is create a happy future. It's what they would have wanted, I know it.
I leave the building with Chandelure. I catch the bus back to my new home in Castelia City.
I'm finally free
