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Interlock: Maid a Mistake (An Arma one-shot/potential fanservice...)

by Mr.RMA

Mr.RMA With all the dark and gloomy stuff that came from the end of the Birth in Blood CRP, I decided the best way to lighten up the mood was to satisfy the pleas of a certain select few people. Why? I don't know, but I'm already regretting this...Still, I've already written it out, so, too late to do anything about that...I think the title will clue you in on just what you're about to witness...I apologize in advance.
Mr.RMA solemnly walked into the café, having received a letter that morning asking him to come to work on urgent notice. He was in no mood to return to such banal labor after all the absolute hell he had just witnessed the night before, but considering how he was primarily a service android, he really had no other choice but to heed the call. Slipping through the doors of the French-style restaurant, he half-expected to see Lyni there as usual, but she was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a stranger he was unfamiliar with approached him, a preppy looking young man with curled blonde hair and a pale complexion, a sort one would expect to see in an establishment just a little more uppity than this one. All the same, he was wearing the café uniform, so obviously he was in the right place.

“Ah, you’re finally here! It’s an honor to finally meet you in person, Mr.RMA!” The man said with enthusiasm, obviously familiar with the tournament that had only recently come to a terribly bloody end.

“Uh, I’m sorry…You are?” RMA asked with a quizzing look back at this human.

“Oh, apologies, where are my manners? I’m an intern here. Name’s Hodge,” he replied with a raised hand to shake.

“Hodge? I hate to sound insulting, sir, but…doesn’t that name seem a bit unfitting for someone of your…appearance?” RMA inquired as he shook Intern Hodge’s hand.

“What do you mean?” the man responded with a puzzled look of his own. There was a brief pause and RMA gave a light shrug, deciding to drop the subject.

“Never mind, forget it…I assume you were the one who sent the letter asking me to show up today?” the robot asked.

“Yup,” Hodge replied with a nod. “It’s a rather urgent situation, so I’m glad you arrived on time. You see, Lyni was supposed to work today, or so I was told…She hasn’t shown up yet, and she was the only hostess we could schedule for this shift. The chef and I have been trying to wait and serve on the customers ourselves, but we’re nowhere near as efficient as she is. I had asked him if there was anyone else we could possibly turn to and he brought your name up. Apparently you’re a rather speedy employee yourself,” he explained, the robot once again giving off a shrug at this supposed praise.

“I simply take efforts into performing at the best of my ability, sir. So, if I’m correctly analyzing the situation at hand, you need me to take up her job for today?”

“Yes, exactly,” Hodge answered, though RMA could notice the human’s eyes shifting around uncomfortably.

“…Is there something else you’ve yet to tell me about all this?” he questioned, crossing his arms in suspicion.

“Well, you see, sir…We’ve been having some trouble with the uniforms as of late…Aside from my own, we haven’t been able to get them to change into the male variants…They’re…kinda stuck as maid outfits,” Hodge murmured sheepishly with an apologetic grin. RMA could hear the chef in back trying his best to stifle his laughter at this explanation.

“So I see…Well then, I think I’d best be on my way, Mr. Hodge. Good luck,” he grumbled with a miffed expression, turning to walk out the door. Before he could properly exit however, he felt something latch onto his leg. Looking down, he saw Hodge on the floor, clutched to the robot’s limb with tears already manifesting in his bloodshot eyes.

“Please, sir! I know this all seems rather embarrassing, but if we can’t raise our quota of satisfied customers, I’m gonna be back out in the streets! I worked too hard to get an internship here, you have to help me on this one, I beg you!” he blubbered out in a pathetic stream of tears.

“Mr. Hodge, I’m ten seconds away from detaching that leg and hopping my way back home…” RMA growled, still not convinced to stick around after all the humiliation he’d already received at Lyni’s expense from this sort of thing.

Hodge didn’t let go, weeping into the robot’s now-soaked pant leg. “I’ll double your wages! I’ll triple ‘em! Just don’t leave us alone here!” he begged. RMA clenched his fists together, knowing he’d probably need that money if he was really going to embark on that mission of Talon’s. For his own sake he was just going to have to swallow his pride one more time…

“…Give me a goddamned uniform and let’s get this over with…” he grunted. Hodge leapt into the air, his face brightened almost immediately at this bit of news.

“Thank you, sir! THANK YOU!” he squealed with glee, hugging the robot tightly, RMA awkwardly pushing the human off of him. Two seconds in and he was already really hating this decision…


“Come on Arma, sir! I’m sure it’s not that degrading!” Hodge shouted over to the closet where RMA had hidden himself away to change.

“There’s a little white bow on the front! There’s goddamned leggings attached! THIS COULDN’T GET MORE DEGRADING!” RMA shouted back.

“I’m sure you look quite nice! Come on, we need to get to work before the big lunch shift begins!”

RMA sighed hopelessly and swung the door open. He was technically only male aesthetically, being a robot, but that didn’t make this outfit look any less ridiculous on him. The black dress with a white apron in front was likely a size too short, and the aforementioned leggings looked like they were going to tear off at any moment. The black clogs fortunately were without heels, but they were definitely still designed for more dainty feet, with RMA stumbling immediately as he began to walk out into the open.

With all his might, Hodge tried to look back at the robot with a straight face, but it was a battle he was most definitely losing, having a hand covering his mouth as his cheeks began to flush with the strain of holding in an immense buildup of laughter. “You look…quite…stunning!” he sputtered, forcibly having to look away to keep any dwindling composure he had left at the sight.

“Shut the hell up before I make you my new broom stand…” RMA grumbled, clumsily walking over to a tray of food and carrying it over to its assigned table. What followed was exactly what the unfortunate android expected: a bunch of people glancing at him in disbelief, spontaneous breakouts of laughter, and at least one “accidental” case of spilled food onto a particularly amused customer’s head. Forget Nioyu’s evil deeds, this was the real nightmare.

The hours ticked away at an excruciatingly slow rate, but eventually, time showed its mercy and RMA’s emergency shift came to an end. Hastily changing back into his suit, he shoved the outfit that was now the bane of his very existence into Hodge’s chest, nearly knocking the man over from the force.

“Thanks again, Arma, you really saved my career on this one. I’ll be sure to send in your payment ASAP,” the intern assured, himself tuckered out from all the laughter he had sustained that day.

“Please don’t take offense to this, Mr. Hodge…but for your own sake, I hope we never speak to each other again…Good day…” RMA said as he turned and nearly toppled over at the realization he was still wearing those godforsaken clogs. He pulled them off and threw them at a once-more hysterical Hodge, sending him tumbling to the ground. Satisfied with that, RMA slipped his dress shoes back on and walked out of the café, never wishing to enter that building again for as long as he lived.
  1. Shiny Pyxis
    Shiny Pyxis
    I approve of this
    May 20, 2014