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Ultimate Fists!: The Slave in Sandust

by Hecotoro

Hecotoro The silent fist joins the story.
Maya walked through the crowd of people inside the grand city of Sandust. Her skin still ached from having to come through the sandstorm outside the city. The sun was slowly leaving the sky and the heat was begining to calm down, but for a Pokemon not made to whitstand such heat, Maya was still suffering. She found a nice Cubone with a small stand, he was selling small cups of sitrus berry. Maya bought a cup and the Cubone thanked her happily.
Maya walked down the market place while sipping her drink. She saw a poster outside a small dojo made of sand. It had a picture of a Hariyama and it said ¨Come and learn from the Force Palm master!¨ Maya got curious and figured that in order to save he fellow slaves, she must learn to defend herself propely. She entered the dojo.
Inside there was a Machop, a Makuhita and a Breloom, who were practicing their forlce palm attack. Maya was staring at them, when she noticed a big pokemon sitting in the shadows to her right. From the shadow emerged a Hariyama. His size made Maya´s instinct tell her to run, but she stood her ground, even though her knees shook a little. The Hariyama walked towards her and look down whenhe was too close. ¨Are you here to become a master of the Force Palm?¨The giant sumo fighting Pokemon said.
Maya gulped and nodded, she was not going to run away, that would be akward. The Hariyama showed her the dojo and the training began that same evening.
PokeStorm and RenzFlintrock like this.
  1. PokeStorm
    This is a very original idea and I love it. Not a lot of background and explanation of what exactly is going on and much about the civilization the story exists in. I assume it is in the world of Mystery Dungeon, but again I think the story needs a little background info. But other than that, just the formatting issue I see with new writers. See @Lime Weedle 's post for all the tips myself and a few other experienced writers gave him. Nice start and I am excited to see where this story goes.
    Jul 25, 2019
    RenzFlintrock and Hekotoro like this.