Chapter 43: First Blood
Man that was dizzying! Unless the person was already dead, I was now making it my personal mission to kill the jackass that made spinning floors a booby-trap. The only bright side was that the alarm had stopped ringing. Team Rocket obviously knew we were here already so there was no need for it anymore.
“Is everyone alright?” asked one of my cohorts. Everyone gave mostly positive responses as they started getting up. I remained on the floor waiting for the room to stop spinning while also trying to regain my bearings.
“Hate them. Hate them so much.” Axel groaned.
“Same.” I concurred.
“Leader!” someone shouted. I looked up to see the armored figure of our High Commander standing in front of us.
“What are you all standing around for? Go down that corridor at once!” he commanded authoritatively, pointing down the hallway behind him.
“But Sir, those Spinner traps separated most of us from our squads. Shouldn’t we wait for them a few more minutes?” asked a Neos.
“Are you questioning my orders?” Leader demanded angrily.
“No Sir! We’ll go right away!” another one complied in a panic. Within moments the rest of the team fled down the hallway leaving me as the only one still on the floor.
“What are you waiting for?” demanded Leader standing over me.
“Apologies Milord, but I’m still a bit dizzy. I’ll follow them in just a bit.” I said attempting to stand up but still a bit wobbly on my feet.
“Well hurry up!” he commanded. As he started to walk away, I noticed him walking with a bit of a limp. For a moment I wondered if he hadn’t injured himself on the Spinners, but then I felt Riolu’s Pokéball shaking. It couldn’t be.
“Don’t worry Milord, I’ll do my duty. I’ll massacre those worthless Rockets! Now please, find that swine Giovanni so that we can put an end to this useless organization.” The man masquerading as Leader let out an irritated growl at my insults.
“How dare you mock The Great Giovanni and the glorious Team Rocket!” he yelled. I smiled wickedly.
“Idiot! You’re far too emotional Petrel Lambda!!” I sneered grabbing the face beneath the black hood and pulling on it. Lambda screamed as his disguise dissolved back into Ditto as I tore it off of him. When the two were separated, I threw Ditto against the wall with an audible splat.
“How did you know it was me? Surely a Grunt like you would either respect or fear your boss enough that you wouldn’t question his authority?” berated the Executive. I only laughed at him.
“You don’t remember me? Oh I’m hurt.” I said sarcastically. “Axel, your crown.” I told him as I grabbed the sides of my hood. The look on Lambda’s face was absolutely priceless when we revealed ourselves to him. I wish I had a camera so I could get a picture!
“NO! NOT YOU!” he screamed in terror. Axel and I laughed mockingly at his plight.
“Yes me! I was hoping I would see you again. You caused me a lot of trouble Lambda, what with setting fire to Tin Tower, kicking me in the face, escaping, and of course sending an assassin after me. He’s dead you know.” I said starting of calm and getting more threatening as I spoke.
“Bitch also tried kidnapping me and the other Pokémon.” added Axel. I looked at him cluelessly.
“When did that happen?” I questioned.
“The spa treatment center in Saffron City we went to last Fall. Remember how we got terrible service? The place was Team Rocket run. If it weren’t for Lambda’s fear of you, we’d all have been captured.” he explained. I gave the monkey a blank but annoyed look.
“We’ll talk about you not telling me that later.” I told him sternly. I then turned back to my prey. “Right now you and I have some unfinished business to attend to!” I said with a fanged smirk. I know Raiden told me not to, but there are no other Neos around right now and I love instilling fear into this cowardly Executive!
“I won’t lose to you a second time! For the honor and glory of Team Rocket, I will be victorious!” promised Lambda proudly. “Go Koffing!” he called sending out a floating purple mine with dozens of smoke emitting pores all over its body. Underneath one of the most clueless faces in the Pokémon world was the skull and cross-bones warning of just how toxic this Pokémon is.
“Is that your best? I would think someone in your position would use their best right off the bat.” I taunted. “Oh well. Make quick work of it Beldum!” I announced bringing my Iron Ball Pokémon to the field.
“You’re the one who shouldn’t take me lightly! I am an Executive after all! Use Toxic Koffing!” the Rocket ordered haughtily. For being absolutely terrified of me one minute, he sure is putting on a brave face in battle. Does this idiot honestly think he can win? Koffing excreted a purple sludge from its pores that splashed over Beldum.
“Yes! Let’s see your Pokémon survive that!” mocked Lambda. I only stared at him with pity as his expression changed from prideful to ‘oh shit’ as the ooze ran off Beldum’s body leaving it completely unfazed. “But how!?” he shouted in bewilderment.
“Dumbass. Steel-types are immune to Poison, and not just the ailment. Sludge, Smog, and any other attack you were planning on using are absolutely ineffective against Beldum. Like I said, I ain’t playing around.” I ridiculed. As much as I would enjoy taking my time further humiliating Lambda, I do have a job to do and plenty more Rockets to slaughter.
“Now Beldum! Zen Headbutt!” I commanded. The Iron Ball Pokémon’s head took on a blue glow as it flew at Koffing like a rocket. The Poison-type roared in pain as Beldum hit it right between the eyes. Much to my surprise, my opponent had a wry smirk.
“So Beldum are a Steel-type eh? I told you not to get cocky with a Team Rocket Executive! Blast it with Flamethrower Koffing!” commanded Lambda. Igniting the gases in its body, the Poison Gas Pokémon released a long line of fire at Beldum who was unable to dodge at such close range.
“Try flinching it with Iron Head!” I called. Beldum powered through the assault, dispersing the flames as he went, until slamming its steel head into Koffing’s face. While the strike got Koffing to stop using its attack, Iron Head had been severely weakened and didn’t do much damage.
“Koffing! Use Thunderbolt now!” Lambda ordered. Koffing’s body crackled with electricity before releasing a powerful bolt of lightning on Beldum. My Pokémon wavered through the air a bit due to dizziness, but still held strong.
“Good job! Now take out Koffing with another Zen Headbutt!” I called victoriously. Beldum did as told, but Koffing also managed to hang in there. Just what was this thing made of? Perhaps I really had underestimated Lambda’s skill. Either that or I overestimated myself. No matter. In the end the one who walks away from this battle alive will be me.
“Attack with Gyro Ball Koffing!” the Executive commanded.
“Block with Iron Defense!” I countered. The Poison Gas Pokémon spun around and flew through the air to strike Beldum, but was repelled by my Pokémon’s freshly hardened body which was shining with a fresh coat of metal.
“Now finish it with Take Down!” I continued. Beldum rammed its body into Koffing with enough power that it recoiled back from damaging itself. The sacrifice was well worth it though as Koffing fell to the ground fainted.
“No! How can this be?” lamented my foe calling back his fallen Pokémon.
“Because you are weak!” I ridiculed. My cocky grin faded slightly as I noticed something strange happening with Beldum. Its body was vibrating as magnetic waves manifested themselves around it. Beldum made a metallic screech as its body split in two laterally as if it were producing a second Beldum. The magnetic waves began to weave between the two ‘Beldums’, swirling in orbitals that formed a disc like shape. In a few short moments, Beldum was no more. In its place was a metallic blue disc Pokémon with hollow red eyes, a silver beak, and two Beldum for arms. It had evolved into Metang! I laughed evilly at my luck.
“What do you think of that Lambda?” I questioned with my smirk restored. Lambda’s jaw was dropped at the sight of my new Pokémon. The only sound that came out of his mouth was a pathetic squeak.
“Hey dumbass! Send out a Pokémon so I can see Metang in battle!” Axel demanded. Just as my foe was readying his next Pokéball, another Metang rammed into mine with its own Take Down attack.
“What the hell?” I yelled.
“Where did that thing come from?” wondered Axel. Lambda looked as perplexed as us for a second, but then got his wry smirk back.
“Ditto, is that you?” he asked the other Metang. It bobbled in response answering what I assume to be yes. “Excellent! We’ll beat that demon with his own Pokémon! Use Metal Claw Ditto!” The replica’s claws glowed silver before slashing my Metang for little damage.
“I thought you would have learned from last time. Metang! Use your own Metal Claw and show these copycats that the original is always better!” I cheered on. The Iron Claw Pokémon did the same as its doppelganger with similar results.
“Well if Metal Claw isn’t your cup of tea, why not try Confusion?” Lambda suggested. Ditto’s stolen eyes began to shine with an eerie blue glow that soon enveloped my Pokémon. Metang, however, seemed completely unfazed by the attack.
“Damn! I was at least hoping Metang would have been confused by that attack.” growled Lambda. I smirked superiorly at his failed attempt.
“You’re pathetic.” I mocked. “Metang! If Lambda thinks he can win by replicating your appearance and abilities, let’s show him we can beat him with his own tricks. Confusion!” I called. Metang did as told and, as to be expected, barely did any damage to the replica’s steel body. And yet the dizzy look in Ditto’s eyes showed that we had succeeded where the Rocket Executive failed.
“Ditto! Don’t let these fools out maneuver you! Smash them with Iron Head!” commanded my opponent. The Transform Pokémon flew at Metang with its head shining silver but completely missed my Pokémon resulting in it slamming into a wall. Axel and I started snickering at Lambda’s continuous failure.
“Stop mocking me!” he yelled turning red with anger and embarrassment.
“But you make it so easy.” I said innocently. “Put Ditto out of its misery with your own Iron Head!” I told Metang. My Pokémon chased down its double ready to slam it in the back.
“Block with Iron Defense!” Lambda commanded as Metang closed in. The fake’s body sheened silver just seconds before my Iron Claw Pokémon could finish it off. “Good. Now strike Metang down with Metal Claw!” ordered the Rocket.
“Block the attack with your own Iron Defense!” I called. The doppelganger swung its shining silver claws at Metang who easily repelled the attack with a freshly hardened body. “Now end this fabrication with Take Down!” I followed up. The real Metang reared back and then thrust forward striking Ditto hard. The pseudo-Metang staggered for a few seconds, but I knew this bout was over the second its form slowly degraded and it became Ditto again.
“But how? Ditto was supposed to be the stronger Pokémon! Even with evolution, Metang should have still been weakened enough by Koffing!” grieved Lambda trying to find reason in his recent loss.
“Metang was weakened by Koffing, that much is true. But I also threw Ditto into a wall and it hurt itself in confusion.” I reminded.
“Besides, I don’t think Metang could go another round even if it wanted to.” Axel pointed out noticing how worn out his comrade was.
“Unless you want to die Lambda, bring out another Pokémon.” I cautioned as I recalled Metang and readied another Pokémon of my own. Lambda nervously reached for a Pokéball keeping a fixed gaze on me the whole time. It was as if he didn’t trust me not to attack him during this vulnerable moment.
“Raticate! Eradicate these Neos pests!” he called sending out a rat with course brown fur. What lame puns. Surely he can do better than Neopets and eradicate. Just as I predicted, it would seem Raticate’s teeth have grown back to their original length.
“Take it away Snorlax!” I called summoning my rotund bear to battle. He let out a big yawn and scratched his belly upon emerging on the field.
“Raticate! Attack with Hyper Fang!” Lambda ordered. The Rat Pokémon got down on all fours and ran at Snorlax with its fangs bared. When it was within range, Raticate sunk its teeth into the giant bear’s flesh until it drew blood causing Snorlax to make an uncomfortable grunt.
“Don’t worry Snorlax! I know how to make that pain go away! Use Belly Drum, then Rest!” I told him. Snorlax let out a low roar as he began pounding his large belly. The more pain he felt, the stronger he would become. The Sleeping Pokémon then yawned and lived up to his name by descending into a restful slumber that would restore his stamina while maintaining the previous Attack boost.
However, I had picked up a new tactic to add to that strategy while in the Battle Frontier. Just before completely fading to sleep, Snorlax lifted one of his stubby arms to his mouth. In one of his claws was a dark blue berry called a Chesto Berry. Chesto Berries have a kick to them as far as flavor went and they also have a chemical compound that act as a stimulant in them. In short, eating a Chesto Berry makes it pretty hard to fall asleep. After consuming his berry, Snorlax was instantly wide awake while still getting the healing benefits of Rest.
“You!” Lambda spat accusingly. “I wanted to be a nice guy, but if you’re just going to play by your own rules then I will too! Shred Snorlax to bits with Super Fang Raticate!” the Executive yelled. Raticate shrieked while running at Snorlax again, this time with its teeth glowing white.
“Defense Curl Snorlax!” I called quickly. The Sleeping Pokémon balled up, but that made no difference as Raticate savagely bit and tore at Snorlax’s body causing him to moan in agony as his blood spilled all over the floor.
“That’s enough! Flatten that rat with Rollout!” I commanded viciously. Snorlax pushed himself forward, but his injuries were causing him to have a slow start allowing Raticate to jump out of the way.
“Good work. Attack and then dodge Snorlax with Quick Attack!” called Lambda. I watched from the sidelines as the overgrown rat jumped into Snorlax and then pulled back as he chased after it. There were a few instances were Raticate couldn’t get back in time before getting run over, but it was Snorlax who overall took more hits. Luckily, in the battle of stamina, Snorlax’s superior strength and defense made the match up more even.
“Raticate! Hit Snorlax with Sucker Punch!” the Rocket ordered when Snorlax was rolling in for the final blow. The Rat Pokémon pulled back its fist, then delivered a powerful punch to Snorlax which cancelled out his Rollout.
“This has gone on long enough! Snorlax! Finish Raticate with Giga Impact!” I commanded. Snorlax roared as he got to his feet and leaned backwards. Both Lambda and his Pokémon had serious ‘oh shit’ faces at the sight of the massive beast looming over Raticate. Snorlax slammed his girthy body into the rat causing it to shriek in pain as it was thrown across the room and smashed into a wall so hard the wall was cracked and dented. My Pokémon then fell on his belly from exhausting so much energy.
“No! Not Raticate too! What are you?” whimpered my opponent as he recalled his unconscious Pokémon.
“I’m a half human, half Dragon hybrid.” I answered flatly. “Though I believe you and your organization have taken to calling me a demon. Now I suggest you keep this battle going before I get bored and kill you.” I said straightforwardly.
“Well your Snorlax looks like it’s about had it! Golbat should be able to finish it off!” Lambda said haughtily calling the giant mouth with wings to the arena.
“You’re right. Raticate did quite a number on Snorlax.” I pulled out the rotund bear’s Ultra Ball and returned him for a deserved rest. “Aerodactyl will be Golbat’s opponent.” I declared sending out my prehistoric terror in Snorlax’s place.
“I doubt Aerodactyl is immune to poison! Use Toxic Golbat!” Lambda commanded. The nasty purple ooze bubbled up in Golbat’s large mouth, then the giant bat made a hacking sound sending the globs at Aerodactyl.
“Dodge with Agility!” I called. The Fossil Pokémon darted out of the way causing Toxic to splash harmlessly on the floor. “Now counter attack with Thunder Fang!” I continued. Aerodactyl gave a shrill screech as his serrated teeth crackled with electricity. Without mercy he bit into Golbat’s wing making it shriek in pain. The Bat Pokémon’s wing went limp with paralysis in Aerodactyl’s mouth so that when my ancient flyer let Golbat go, it fell to the ground unable to remain air born.
“No! Damn you! Golbat! Heal yourself with Mega Drain!” ordered the Executive desperately. I could tell by his tone he was getting nervous and rightfully so. This match was already decided. Golbat shot two green tendrils of energy from its mouth which dug into Aerodactyl’s legs to sap his energy.
“Sever those things with Wing Attack! Then use Rock Slide!” I commanded. The winged savage crossed his wings and then quickly uncrossed them slashing both of Mega Drain’s tendrils. He the screeched loudly before smashing his feet to the floor causing the light brown tiles to erupt along with a dozen chucks of the rock beneath. With another shriek, the unearthed boulders were hurled at Golbat leaving it to yell in pain as it was further injured.
“Come on you stupid Pokémon! Get at least one decent attack in! Try Air Slash!” my opponent yelled in frustration. The Bat Pokémon whipped its still usable wing in an arc sending a crescent shaped blade of air at Aerodactyl. My Pokémon lowered his head so that the attack bounced off of his stone-like hide.
“Put Golbat out of its misery with Stone Edge!” I called. Aerodactyl got a sadistic look on his face before once again slamming his feet into the ground. Four stone pillars burst out beneath Golbat shredding up its wings and leaving gashes all over its body.
“Well that takes care of that one. Do you have any more Pokémon? I have a job I need to get back to, but I don’t mind continuing the battle.”
“Weezing! You’re my only hope!” shouted the Executive throwing out what I presume to be his last Pokémon. I returned Aerodactyl and motioned Axel to the field.
“Please tell me you won’t blow up your Pokémon this time. I really hate anticlimactic endings.” I taunted.
“I would be completely out of Pokémon if I did that this time. I only use that tactic as a means to escape and I’ll never abandon my own Headquarters!” the Rocket proclaimed proudly. I grinned. Good answer. Too bad he’ll still die.
“Alright Axel! Give Weezing a good ol’ fashion Combo 16!” I called.
“I like that one!” yelled the monkey igniting his fists and feet and then laying the smack down on Weezing with a Fire Punch and Blaze Kick variety of Close Combat.
“Weezing! Blast that monkey with Sludge Bomb!” Lambda commanded. The Poison Gas Pokémon’s body slowly expanded and then rapidly contracted allowing it to excrete a blackish purple sludge from its many pores. Axel tried jumping out of the way of the attack but was still splashed by it. My Infernape looked somewhat perplexed by the attack before looking himself over.
“Wow. This armor really does reduce the damage the enemy’s attacks do.” he commented.
“Good to know.” I said with a smile. “Now then, let’s see how sturdy that armor really is! Flame Wheel!”
“Sounds good!” said Axel jumping up and curling into a flaming ball which spun through the air until hitting his target. Lambda looked justifiably concerned.
“Weezing! Um… Smokescreen! Hurry!” cried the Executive nervously.
“Not so fast! Axel! Taunt the bastard so they don’t run away!” I commanded just as the Poison Gas Pokémon was about to spew.
“You got it! Hey Weezing! Fuck you!” harassed the Flame Pokémon giving his opponent the finger and sticking out his tongue. Weezing grunted angrily at the pestering.
“How dare you! I assure you I was not going to flee! As terrified as I am of you, it is my sworn duty to protect the honor and glory of Team Rocket!” shouted Lambda angrily.
“Well then, I guess I’ll make it easier for you to stay and fight. Trap Weezing with Fire Spin!” I called. Axel gave me a salute then blasted the siamese Pokémon with a spiraling flame trapping it in a fiery tornado.
“Use Double Hit Weezing!” ordered Lambda.
“Counter Axel!” I commanded. The Poison Gas Pokémon emerged from the swirling inferno attempting to smack Axel once with each of its two heads. The Infernape expertly blocked each hit with his palms and then punched Weezing in the face sending it back into the vortex of fire.
“Use Sludge this time!” shouted the Executive. More of the blackish purple ooze was shot from the flames splattering all over Axel.
“What do you think Axel? Shall we finish Weezing off now with Flare Blitz?” I asked the monkey. I got an excited smile in return.
“We shalst!” affirmed my partner engulfing his body in fire. He jumped into Fire Spin like a flaming arrow, tackling Weezing out the other side. The Poison-type gave a weak groan as it fell to the ground with Axel landing on top of it. The Flame Pokémon stood up and brushed himself off while his vortex slowly faded away behind him. Lambda’s jaw was hanging limp as weak gasps of terror came from his mouth.
“Time to die!” I announced with casual excitement as I slowly walked towards the soon to be ex-Rocket Executive. Lambda looked up at me with tears in his eyes and gulped hard. Finally, he broke down and started groveling at my feet.
“Please! Please don’t! Spare me, I beg of you! Please spare me!” he pleaded. He stood up with a horrified look in his eyes and backed up as fast as his legs would take him. With another nervous gulp he started forcing a smile which only made him look creepier.
“Y-ya know, I’m not such a bad guy. I’m actually a really nice person. I’m the kindest, most trustworthy, and nicest of all of the Rocket Executives! Think about it, I never once attacked you in our battle! I had the chance to several times, but I never attacked you. I never attack the Trainer! Never! In fact, I’m so nice, I’ll even let you call me Uncle Petrel. You wouldn’t hurt ol’ Uncle Petrel would ya?” Lambda rambled. I pitied how pathetic he was making himself in his final moments. Still, he had made his point.
“Alright, alright. Stop embarrassing yourself. I’ll spare you.” I conceded. Lambda’s face brightened with joy and relief.
“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise you won’t regret this!” he vowed getting closer to me than he should have almost giving me a hug. I, in turn, gave him a devious grin. No. I won’t regret this. I drove my left hand through Lambda’s gut like a spear with my Dragon Claw. The former Executive puked up blood on my arm as a result.
“I agreed I’d spare you. I was going to kill you much more painfully for all the trouble you caused me, but all your begging annoyed me so much I decided to spare you the agony and just put you out of your misery quickly!” I told him maniacally. I then raised my right hand, which was glowing with the energy of Dragon Pulse, to his face. “Any last words?”
“Hail… Team Rocket… Long live… Gio--”
“Good bye.” I interrupted blowing off his head with an azure blast of draconic energy. His wheezing last words were just too long. As the decapitated body fell to the floor and the blood poured from the gaping holes in his torso and neck, I started laughing like the insane, evil lunatic I am.
“What was that Lambda? I’m sorry, you got cut off! Come on say it! I dare you! Say it again!” I demanded of the lifeless corpse between laughs. “Oh wait you can’t, can you? ‘Cause you don’t have a mouth. Oh you poor, poor, headless bastard!” I taunted continuing my crazy cackling some more. “‘Long live Giovanni.’ Ha! He’s lived long enough if Arthias has anything to say about it.” I promised darkly. “Well that was fun! Come along Axel. There are still more Rockets to slay.” I said cheerfully.
“Yeah.” Axel agreed eagerly following me down the hallway the rest of our cohorts had gone down. The further we went, the louder the sounds of battle got. It made me wonder if that bastard Lambda hadn’t sent my comrades into an ambush while he was disguised. So help me if Team Neos wasn’t winning that battle I really will go on a killing spree!
Man that was dizzying! Unless the person was already dead, I was now making it my personal mission to kill the jackass that made spinning floors a booby-trap. The only bright side was that the alarm had stopped ringing. Team Rocket obviously knew we were here already so there was no need for it anymore.
“Is everyone alright?” asked one of my cohorts. Everyone gave mostly positive responses as they started getting up. I remained on the floor waiting for the room to stop spinning while also trying to regain my bearings.
“Hate them. Hate them so much.” Axel groaned.
“Same.” I concurred.
“Leader!” someone shouted. I looked up to see the armored figure of our High Commander standing in front of us.
“What are you all standing around for? Go down that corridor at once!” he commanded authoritatively, pointing down the hallway behind him.
“But Sir, those Spinner traps separated most of us from our squads. Shouldn’t we wait for them a few more minutes?” asked a Neos.
“Are you questioning my orders?” Leader demanded angrily.
“No Sir! We’ll go right away!” another one complied in a panic. Within moments the rest of the team fled down the hallway leaving me as the only one still on the floor.
“What are you waiting for?” demanded Leader standing over me.
“Apologies Milord, but I’m still a bit dizzy. I’ll follow them in just a bit.” I said attempting to stand up but still a bit wobbly on my feet.
“Well hurry up!” he commanded. As he started to walk away, I noticed him walking with a bit of a limp. For a moment I wondered if he hadn’t injured himself on the Spinners, but then I felt Riolu’s Pokéball shaking. It couldn’t be.
“Don’t worry Milord, I’ll do my duty. I’ll massacre those worthless Rockets! Now please, find that swine Giovanni so that we can put an end to this useless organization.” The man masquerading as Leader let out an irritated growl at my insults.
“How dare you mock The Great Giovanni and the glorious Team Rocket!” he yelled. I smiled wickedly.
“Idiot! You’re far too emotional Petrel Lambda!!” I sneered grabbing the face beneath the black hood and pulling on it. Lambda screamed as his disguise dissolved back into Ditto as I tore it off of him. When the two were separated, I threw Ditto against the wall with an audible splat.
“How did you know it was me? Surely a Grunt like you would either respect or fear your boss enough that you wouldn’t question his authority?” berated the Executive. I only laughed at him.
“You don’t remember me? Oh I’m hurt.” I said sarcastically. “Axel, your crown.” I told him as I grabbed the sides of my hood. The look on Lambda’s face was absolutely priceless when we revealed ourselves to him. I wish I had a camera so I could get a picture!
“NO! NOT YOU!” he screamed in terror. Axel and I laughed mockingly at his plight.
“Yes me! I was hoping I would see you again. You caused me a lot of trouble Lambda, what with setting fire to Tin Tower, kicking me in the face, escaping, and of course sending an assassin after me. He’s dead you know.” I said starting of calm and getting more threatening as I spoke.
“Bitch also tried kidnapping me and the other Pokémon.” added Axel. I looked at him cluelessly.
“When did that happen?” I questioned.
“The spa treatment center in Saffron City we went to last Fall. Remember how we got terrible service? The place was Team Rocket run. If it weren’t for Lambda’s fear of you, we’d all have been captured.” he explained. I gave the monkey a blank but annoyed look.
“We’ll talk about you not telling me that later.” I told him sternly. I then turned back to my prey. “Right now you and I have some unfinished business to attend to!” I said with a fanged smirk. I know Raiden told me not to, but there are no other Neos around right now and I love instilling fear into this cowardly Executive!
“I won’t lose to you a second time! For the honor and glory of Team Rocket, I will be victorious!” promised Lambda proudly. “Go Koffing!” he called sending out a floating purple mine with dozens of smoke emitting pores all over its body. Underneath one of the most clueless faces in the Pokémon world was the skull and cross-bones warning of just how toxic this Pokémon is.
“Is that your best? I would think someone in your position would use their best right off the bat.” I taunted. “Oh well. Make quick work of it Beldum!” I announced bringing my Iron Ball Pokémon to the field.
“You’re the one who shouldn’t take me lightly! I am an Executive after all! Use Toxic Koffing!” the Rocket ordered haughtily. For being absolutely terrified of me one minute, he sure is putting on a brave face in battle. Does this idiot honestly think he can win? Koffing excreted a purple sludge from its pores that splashed over Beldum.
“Yes! Let’s see your Pokémon survive that!” mocked Lambda. I only stared at him with pity as his expression changed from prideful to ‘oh shit’ as the ooze ran off Beldum’s body leaving it completely unfazed. “But how!?” he shouted in bewilderment.
“Dumbass. Steel-types are immune to Poison, and not just the ailment. Sludge, Smog, and any other attack you were planning on using are absolutely ineffective against Beldum. Like I said, I ain’t playing around.” I ridiculed. As much as I would enjoy taking my time further humiliating Lambda, I do have a job to do and plenty more Rockets to slaughter.
“Now Beldum! Zen Headbutt!” I commanded. The Iron Ball Pokémon’s head took on a blue glow as it flew at Koffing like a rocket. The Poison-type roared in pain as Beldum hit it right between the eyes. Much to my surprise, my opponent had a wry smirk.
“So Beldum are a Steel-type eh? I told you not to get cocky with a Team Rocket Executive! Blast it with Flamethrower Koffing!” commanded Lambda. Igniting the gases in its body, the Poison Gas Pokémon released a long line of fire at Beldum who was unable to dodge at such close range.
“Try flinching it with Iron Head!” I called. Beldum powered through the assault, dispersing the flames as he went, until slamming its steel head into Koffing’s face. While the strike got Koffing to stop using its attack, Iron Head had been severely weakened and didn’t do much damage.
“Koffing! Use Thunderbolt now!” Lambda ordered. Koffing’s body crackled with electricity before releasing a powerful bolt of lightning on Beldum. My Pokémon wavered through the air a bit due to dizziness, but still held strong.
“Good job! Now take out Koffing with another Zen Headbutt!” I called victoriously. Beldum did as told, but Koffing also managed to hang in there. Just what was this thing made of? Perhaps I really had underestimated Lambda’s skill. Either that or I overestimated myself. No matter. In the end the one who walks away from this battle alive will be me.
“Attack with Gyro Ball Koffing!” the Executive commanded.
“Block with Iron Defense!” I countered. The Poison Gas Pokémon spun around and flew through the air to strike Beldum, but was repelled by my Pokémon’s freshly hardened body which was shining with a fresh coat of metal.
“Now finish it with Take Down!” I continued. Beldum rammed its body into Koffing with enough power that it recoiled back from damaging itself. The sacrifice was well worth it though as Koffing fell to the ground fainted.
“No! How can this be?” lamented my foe calling back his fallen Pokémon.
“Because you are weak!” I ridiculed. My cocky grin faded slightly as I noticed something strange happening with Beldum. Its body was vibrating as magnetic waves manifested themselves around it. Beldum made a metallic screech as its body split in two laterally as if it were producing a second Beldum. The magnetic waves began to weave between the two ‘Beldums’, swirling in orbitals that formed a disc like shape. In a few short moments, Beldum was no more. In its place was a metallic blue disc Pokémon with hollow red eyes, a silver beak, and two Beldum for arms. It had evolved into Metang! I laughed evilly at my luck.
“What do you think of that Lambda?” I questioned with my smirk restored. Lambda’s jaw was dropped at the sight of my new Pokémon. The only sound that came out of his mouth was a pathetic squeak.
“Hey dumbass! Send out a Pokémon so I can see Metang in battle!” Axel demanded. Just as my foe was readying his next Pokéball, another Metang rammed into mine with its own Take Down attack.
“What the hell?” I yelled.
“Where did that thing come from?” wondered Axel. Lambda looked as perplexed as us for a second, but then got his wry smirk back.
“Ditto, is that you?” he asked the other Metang. It bobbled in response answering what I assume to be yes. “Excellent! We’ll beat that demon with his own Pokémon! Use Metal Claw Ditto!” The replica’s claws glowed silver before slashing my Metang for little damage.
“I thought you would have learned from last time. Metang! Use your own Metal Claw and show these copycats that the original is always better!” I cheered on. The Iron Claw Pokémon did the same as its doppelganger with similar results.
“Well if Metal Claw isn’t your cup of tea, why not try Confusion?” Lambda suggested. Ditto’s stolen eyes began to shine with an eerie blue glow that soon enveloped my Pokémon. Metang, however, seemed completely unfazed by the attack.
“Damn! I was at least hoping Metang would have been confused by that attack.” growled Lambda. I smirked superiorly at his failed attempt.
“You’re pathetic.” I mocked. “Metang! If Lambda thinks he can win by replicating your appearance and abilities, let’s show him we can beat him with his own tricks. Confusion!” I called. Metang did as told and, as to be expected, barely did any damage to the replica’s steel body. And yet the dizzy look in Ditto’s eyes showed that we had succeeded where the Rocket Executive failed.
“Ditto! Don’t let these fools out maneuver you! Smash them with Iron Head!” commanded my opponent. The Transform Pokémon flew at Metang with its head shining silver but completely missed my Pokémon resulting in it slamming into a wall. Axel and I started snickering at Lambda’s continuous failure.
“Stop mocking me!” he yelled turning red with anger and embarrassment.
“But you make it so easy.” I said innocently. “Put Ditto out of its misery with your own Iron Head!” I told Metang. My Pokémon chased down its double ready to slam it in the back.
“Block with Iron Defense!” Lambda commanded as Metang closed in. The fake’s body sheened silver just seconds before my Iron Claw Pokémon could finish it off. “Good. Now strike Metang down with Metal Claw!” ordered the Rocket.
“Block the attack with your own Iron Defense!” I called. The doppelganger swung its shining silver claws at Metang who easily repelled the attack with a freshly hardened body. “Now end this fabrication with Take Down!” I followed up. The real Metang reared back and then thrust forward striking Ditto hard. The pseudo-Metang staggered for a few seconds, but I knew this bout was over the second its form slowly degraded and it became Ditto again.
“But how? Ditto was supposed to be the stronger Pokémon! Even with evolution, Metang should have still been weakened enough by Koffing!” grieved Lambda trying to find reason in his recent loss.
“Metang was weakened by Koffing, that much is true. But I also threw Ditto into a wall and it hurt itself in confusion.” I reminded.
“Besides, I don’t think Metang could go another round even if it wanted to.” Axel pointed out noticing how worn out his comrade was.
“Unless you want to die Lambda, bring out another Pokémon.” I cautioned as I recalled Metang and readied another Pokémon of my own. Lambda nervously reached for a Pokéball keeping a fixed gaze on me the whole time. It was as if he didn’t trust me not to attack him during this vulnerable moment.
“Raticate! Eradicate these Neos pests!” he called sending out a rat with course brown fur. What lame puns. Surely he can do better than Neopets and eradicate. Just as I predicted, it would seem Raticate’s teeth have grown back to their original length.
“Take it away Snorlax!” I called summoning my rotund bear to battle. He let out a big yawn and scratched his belly upon emerging on the field.
“Raticate! Attack with Hyper Fang!” Lambda ordered. The Rat Pokémon got down on all fours and ran at Snorlax with its fangs bared. When it was within range, Raticate sunk its teeth into the giant bear’s flesh until it drew blood causing Snorlax to make an uncomfortable grunt.
“Don’t worry Snorlax! I know how to make that pain go away! Use Belly Drum, then Rest!” I told him. Snorlax let out a low roar as he began pounding his large belly. The more pain he felt, the stronger he would become. The Sleeping Pokémon then yawned and lived up to his name by descending into a restful slumber that would restore his stamina while maintaining the previous Attack boost.
However, I had picked up a new tactic to add to that strategy while in the Battle Frontier. Just before completely fading to sleep, Snorlax lifted one of his stubby arms to his mouth. In one of his claws was a dark blue berry called a Chesto Berry. Chesto Berries have a kick to them as far as flavor went and they also have a chemical compound that act as a stimulant in them. In short, eating a Chesto Berry makes it pretty hard to fall asleep. After consuming his berry, Snorlax was instantly wide awake while still getting the healing benefits of Rest.
“You!” Lambda spat accusingly. “I wanted to be a nice guy, but if you’re just going to play by your own rules then I will too! Shred Snorlax to bits with Super Fang Raticate!” the Executive yelled. Raticate shrieked while running at Snorlax again, this time with its teeth glowing white.
“Defense Curl Snorlax!” I called quickly. The Sleeping Pokémon balled up, but that made no difference as Raticate savagely bit and tore at Snorlax’s body causing him to moan in agony as his blood spilled all over the floor.
“That’s enough! Flatten that rat with Rollout!” I commanded viciously. Snorlax pushed himself forward, but his injuries were causing him to have a slow start allowing Raticate to jump out of the way.
“Good work. Attack and then dodge Snorlax with Quick Attack!” called Lambda. I watched from the sidelines as the overgrown rat jumped into Snorlax and then pulled back as he chased after it. There were a few instances were Raticate couldn’t get back in time before getting run over, but it was Snorlax who overall took more hits. Luckily, in the battle of stamina, Snorlax’s superior strength and defense made the match up more even.
“Raticate! Hit Snorlax with Sucker Punch!” the Rocket ordered when Snorlax was rolling in for the final blow. The Rat Pokémon pulled back its fist, then delivered a powerful punch to Snorlax which cancelled out his Rollout.
“This has gone on long enough! Snorlax! Finish Raticate with Giga Impact!” I commanded. Snorlax roared as he got to his feet and leaned backwards. Both Lambda and his Pokémon had serious ‘oh shit’ faces at the sight of the massive beast looming over Raticate. Snorlax slammed his girthy body into the rat causing it to shriek in pain as it was thrown across the room and smashed into a wall so hard the wall was cracked and dented. My Pokémon then fell on his belly from exhausting so much energy.
“No! Not Raticate too! What are you?” whimpered my opponent as he recalled his unconscious Pokémon.
“I’m a half human, half Dragon hybrid.” I answered flatly. “Though I believe you and your organization have taken to calling me a demon. Now I suggest you keep this battle going before I get bored and kill you.” I said straightforwardly.
“Well your Snorlax looks like it’s about had it! Golbat should be able to finish it off!” Lambda said haughtily calling the giant mouth with wings to the arena.
“You’re right. Raticate did quite a number on Snorlax.” I pulled out the rotund bear’s Ultra Ball and returned him for a deserved rest. “Aerodactyl will be Golbat’s opponent.” I declared sending out my prehistoric terror in Snorlax’s place.
“I doubt Aerodactyl is immune to poison! Use Toxic Golbat!” Lambda commanded. The nasty purple ooze bubbled up in Golbat’s large mouth, then the giant bat made a hacking sound sending the globs at Aerodactyl.
“Dodge with Agility!” I called. The Fossil Pokémon darted out of the way causing Toxic to splash harmlessly on the floor. “Now counter attack with Thunder Fang!” I continued. Aerodactyl gave a shrill screech as his serrated teeth crackled with electricity. Without mercy he bit into Golbat’s wing making it shriek in pain. The Bat Pokémon’s wing went limp with paralysis in Aerodactyl’s mouth so that when my ancient flyer let Golbat go, it fell to the ground unable to remain air born.
“No! Damn you! Golbat! Heal yourself with Mega Drain!” ordered the Executive desperately. I could tell by his tone he was getting nervous and rightfully so. This match was already decided. Golbat shot two green tendrils of energy from its mouth which dug into Aerodactyl’s legs to sap his energy.
“Sever those things with Wing Attack! Then use Rock Slide!” I commanded. The winged savage crossed his wings and then quickly uncrossed them slashing both of Mega Drain’s tendrils. He the screeched loudly before smashing his feet to the floor causing the light brown tiles to erupt along with a dozen chucks of the rock beneath. With another shriek, the unearthed boulders were hurled at Golbat leaving it to yell in pain as it was further injured.
“Come on you stupid Pokémon! Get at least one decent attack in! Try Air Slash!” my opponent yelled in frustration. The Bat Pokémon whipped its still usable wing in an arc sending a crescent shaped blade of air at Aerodactyl. My Pokémon lowered his head so that the attack bounced off of his stone-like hide.
“Put Golbat out of its misery with Stone Edge!” I called. Aerodactyl got a sadistic look on his face before once again slamming his feet into the ground. Four stone pillars burst out beneath Golbat shredding up its wings and leaving gashes all over its body.
“Well that takes care of that one. Do you have any more Pokémon? I have a job I need to get back to, but I don’t mind continuing the battle.”
“Weezing! You’re my only hope!” shouted the Executive throwing out what I presume to be his last Pokémon. I returned Aerodactyl and motioned Axel to the field.
“Please tell me you won’t blow up your Pokémon this time. I really hate anticlimactic endings.” I taunted.
“I would be completely out of Pokémon if I did that this time. I only use that tactic as a means to escape and I’ll never abandon my own Headquarters!” the Rocket proclaimed proudly. I grinned. Good answer. Too bad he’ll still die.
“Alright Axel! Give Weezing a good ol’ fashion Combo 16!” I called.
“I like that one!” yelled the monkey igniting his fists and feet and then laying the smack down on Weezing with a Fire Punch and Blaze Kick variety of Close Combat.
“Weezing! Blast that monkey with Sludge Bomb!” Lambda commanded. The Poison Gas Pokémon’s body slowly expanded and then rapidly contracted allowing it to excrete a blackish purple sludge from its many pores. Axel tried jumping out of the way of the attack but was still splashed by it. My Infernape looked somewhat perplexed by the attack before looking himself over.
“Wow. This armor really does reduce the damage the enemy’s attacks do.” he commented.
“Good to know.” I said with a smile. “Now then, let’s see how sturdy that armor really is! Flame Wheel!”
“Sounds good!” said Axel jumping up and curling into a flaming ball which spun through the air until hitting his target. Lambda looked justifiably concerned.
“Weezing! Um… Smokescreen! Hurry!” cried the Executive nervously.
“Not so fast! Axel! Taunt the bastard so they don’t run away!” I commanded just as the Poison Gas Pokémon was about to spew.
“You got it! Hey Weezing! Fuck you!” harassed the Flame Pokémon giving his opponent the finger and sticking out his tongue. Weezing grunted angrily at the pestering.
“How dare you! I assure you I was not going to flee! As terrified as I am of you, it is my sworn duty to protect the honor and glory of Team Rocket!” shouted Lambda angrily.
“Well then, I guess I’ll make it easier for you to stay and fight. Trap Weezing with Fire Spin!” I called. Axel gave me a salute then blasted the siamese Pokémon with a spiraling flame trapping it in a fiery tornado.
“Use Double Hit Weezing!” ordered Lambda.
“Counter Axel!” I commanded. The Poison Gas Pokémon emerged from the swirling inferno attempting to smack Axel once with each of its two heads. The Infernape expertly blocked each hit with his palms and then punched Weezing in the face sending it back into the vortex of fire.
“Use Sludge this time!” shouted the Executive. More of the blackish purple ooze was shot from the flames splattering all over Axel.
“What do you think Axel? Shall we finish Weezing off now with Flare Blitz?” I asked the monkey. I got an excited smile in return.
“We shalst!” affirmed my partner engulfing his body in fire. He jumped into Fire Spin like a flaming arrow, tackling Weezing out the other side. The Poison-type gave a weak groan as it fell to the ground with Axel landing on top of it. The Flame Pokémon stood up and brushed himself off while his vortex slowly faded away behind him. Lambda’s jaw was hanging limp as weak gasps of terror came from his mouth.
“Time to die!” I announced with casual excitement as I slowly walked towards the soon to be ex-Rocket Executive. Lambda looked up at me with tears in his eyes and gulped hard. Finally, he broke down and started groveling at my feet.
“Please! Please don’t! Spare me, I beg of you! Please spare me!” he pleaded. He stood up with a horrified look in his eyes and backed up as fast as his legs would take him. With another nervous gulp he started forcing a smile which only made him look creepier.
“Y-ya know, I’m not such a bad guy. I’m actually a really nice person. I’m the kindest, most trustworthy, and nicest of all of the Rocket Executives! Think about it, I never once attacked you in our battle! I had the chance to several times, but I never attacked you. I never attack the Trainer! Never! In fact, I’m so nice, I’ll even let you call me Uncle Petrel. You wouldn’t hurt ol’ Uncle Petrel would ya?” Lambda rambled. I pitied how pathetic he was making himself in his final moments. Still, he had made his point.
“Alright, alright. Stop embarrassing yourself. I’ll spare you.” I conceded. Lambda’s face brightened with joy and relief.
“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise you won’t regret this!” he vowed getting closer to me than he should have almost giving me a hug. I, in turn, gave him a devious grin. No. I won’t regret this. I drove my left hand through Lambda’s gut like a spear with my Dragon Claw. The former Executive puked up blood on my arm as a result.
“I agreed I’d spare you. I was going to kill you much more painfully for all the trouble you caused me, but all your begging annoyed me so much I decided to spare you the agony and just put you out of your misery quickly!” I told him maniacally. I then raised my right hand, which was glowing with the energy of Dragon Pulse, to his face. “Any last words?”
“Hail… Team Rocket… Long live… Gio--”
“Good bye.” I interrupted blowing off his head with an azure blast of draconic energy. His wheezing last words were just too long. As the decapitated body fell to the floor and the blood poured from the gaping holes in his torso and neck, I started laughing like the insane, evil lunatic I am.
“What was that Lambda? I’m sorry, you got cut off! Come on say it! I dare you! Say it again!” I demanded of the lifeless corpse between laughs. “Oh wait you can’t, can you? ‘Cause you don’t have a mouth. Oh you poor, poor, headless bastard!” I taunted continuing my crazy cackling some more. “‘Long live Giovanni.’ Ha! He’s lived long enough if Arthias has anything to say about it.” I promised darkly. “Well that was fun! Come along Axel. There are still more Rockets to slay.” I said cheerfully.
“Yeah.” Axel agreed eagerly following me down the hallway the rest of our cohorts had gone down. The further we went, the louder the sounds of battle got. It made me wonder if that bastard Lambda hadn’t sent my comrades into an ambush while he was disguised. So help me if Team Neos wasn’t winning that battle I really will go on a killing spree!