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The Adventures of Garrosh Hellscream Part 4 - Epilogue... kind of.

by KoL

KoL Everyone realizes just how much Warlords of Draenor sucked and decides to do something more fun and entertaining with their lives.
“How'd it end like dis, playas?” Gul'dan asked, his usual spark and energy completely gone, his tone and expression somber and downtrodden.
“I don't know... everything just seemed so perfect at the time...” Grom said, his mood the same as Gul'dan's.
“I wish I'd left Garrosh in prison, then none of this would have happened,” Kairoz stated flatly.
“I wish you'd left me in prison...” Garrosh told him. “...wait, why DID you break me out of prison?”
“I don't know...” Kairoz said, annoyed at himself more than anything. “It seemed like a good idea at the time...”
“Hmph...” Garrosh grunted before staring at the floor again, unable to disagree with his seemingly elven companion. “I miss the pandas.”
“I do too...” Kairoz said, “I thought they were silly and annoying at first but now...”
“Garrisons...” the human king, Varian Wrynn, spoke up. “Fucking garrisons. What were they thinking? This isn't fucking Farmville, this is meant to be a war!”
“Father, please,” Anduin said, trying to calm his father before things got out of hand. “It's not worth it...”
“You're right son...” Varian muttered glumly, sitting down on the ground with Garrosh.
“I don't know what you're all so moody about, I shaved my head just for this, and THIS is what we ended up with...” Thrall said angrily.
“Being bald isn't that bad,” Garrosh pointed out. “...but it looks better on me than it does on you.”
“I wish I'd killed you back in the Siege of Orgrimmar...” Thrall spat, glaring at Garrosh.
“After all of this, so do I...” Garrosh replied. Thrall couldn't bring himself to retort, and simply sat on the ground with Garrosh and Varian to sulk in silence.
“Look playas, this shit ain't over yet, mah bois the Burnin' Legion have just arrived an'-”
“Give it a rest Danny-G, no amount of fel and swag can save this expansion now...” Grom said. “I'm sorry man, you did your best but...” Grom was unable to finish. Gul'dan understood.
“I'm sorry too playa, I got us all hyped up for nothin'”
“It's OK Gul'dan. You did the best you could given the circumstances,” Kairoz told him.
“Yeah, you did really well!” Garrosh added.
“Aw thanks playas, that means a lot,” Gul'dan said with a smile. “Ah reckon we can pick ahselves up from all this and come away OK next time.”
“I hope so,” Thrall said, standing up. “I just want you to know that... through the good and the bad, it's been a pleasure working with you all.”
“Hm, I agree,” Garrosh said, standing as well with Thrall. “We had some fun times. Like, remember when I blew up Theramore?” Garrosh said with a huge grin. Everyone glared at him.
“...not the best example there playa,” Gul'dan said flatly. “Still, we had a good run, and there's always next time, right Dr. Who?”
“Oh for the-...forget it...” Kairoz stood up as well. “You know, it's... kind-of pleasant, all of us just hanging out here... like this...”
“Hm, you do bring up a point,” Grom said. “We should do this more often.”
“Ya know playas, I know a great place where we can hang out, just chillax and socialize and all that good shit ya know?” Gul'dan said. “It'll help us take our minds off of all this shit.”
“I never thought I'd hang out with a bunch of orcs, but I'm in.” King Varian said, rising as well.
“Kairoz, you know exactly where ahm talkin' about! LET'S GO BITCHES!!” Danny-G screeched as Kairoz opened a portal. Eagerly, everyone jumped in...

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?” Grom yelled.
I. AM. DEATHWING. THE DESTROYER. THE END OF ALL THINGS. INEVITABLE. INDOMINABLE. I. AM. THE CATACLYSM!!!” Deathwing bellowed, causing the ground to shake and the oceans to churn as his monstrous lava tentacles lashed the rocks everyone was stood on.
“I should have known hanging out with orcs would end up being a terrible idea.” Varian muttered with disgust in his voice.
“Alright fellow orcs, let's do this GROMMAAAAAAAAAAAAASH HELLLLSCREEEEEEEEEEEAM!!” Grom yelled out, charging at Deathwing's writhing tentacles.
Thrall and Garrosh just stared at the monstrous, mutated form of Deathwing with their mouths hanging open before Garrosh finally turned to Thrall and spoke.
“Well... it's better than the garrisons,” Garrosh said.
“Hm... yeah,” Thrall responded.
“You know... I think this could be a new beginning for me. I mean, I've seen different worlds, different timelines, different people...” Garrosh began.
“You desecrated, twisted and killed all three of them respectively too,” Thrall pointed out.
“Stop that! I'm trying to make a point here!” Garrosh shot back angrily. “I think I'm going to... go on an adventure. See new things and stuff, experiencing all of those things before was fun and entertaining, I'd like to do some more of that.”
“Well it's not like you'll ever be welcome in Orgrimmar ever again, sounds like a plan to me. I think I'll go home, I have a wife and kid to take care of,” Thrall said.
“I have a kingdom to rule, not like I can trust any of the other leaders to do it for me,” Varian said, approaching the two orcs with Anduin following close behind. “Especially with Jaina going through her... phase. Thanks for that by the way Garrosh.”
“You're welcome!” Garrosh replied happily.
“Sarcasm,” Thrall whispered to Garrosh.
“Oh...” Garrosh said, his smile quickly disappearing.
“Well, I can get you all back home quickly enough, or in Garrosh's case get him to some random corner of Azeroth,” Kairoz said, opening up portals to Orgrimmar, Stormwind and... somewhere, respectively. “They'll get you to your correct timeline safe and sound.”
“What about you Kairoz?” Garrosh asked.
“Honestly, I could do with something a bit more exciting in my life, I think I'll stay here and help these lot kill Deathwing.”
“Well, see you all around I suppose,” Thrall said to the group before entering his portal.
“Tell your wife and kid I said hi,” Varian told him before doing the same.
“Hope we can meet up again soon!” Garrosh said, hopping into his portal eagerly.
“Hm, yeah...” Kairoz said with a smile as the portals closed behind him.
“GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT BITCH AWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEAHH!!!” Gul'dan screeched as Deathwing toppled forward.
“That's it Danny-G! I'll stop these rock monsters!” Grom called out, hacking away at an army of elementals with Gorehowl, quickly reducing them to lifeless rubble on the ground.
“Time for me to step in,” Kairoz said, his elven form expanding in size as bronze scales rippled from his skin.
“Awwww yeeeah that's the shit yo! Dr. Who's turnin' into his final form!” Danny-G yelled out as Kairozdormu finished his transformation into the mighty bronze dragon he truly was.
“Time to put an end to this!” Kairozdormu roared, unleashing his temporal might to slow Deathwing and strengthen his allies Gul'dan and Grom as they brought fel magic and axe to Deathwing, obliterating the Aspect of Death and his minions once again.

Garrosh stared across the open plains in awe; the place he'd landed in was an expansive plain full of life. “It's so... beautiful. Beasts, birds, centaurs... I'LL KILL THEM ALL!! RAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!” Garrosh yelled out, charging at a nearby centaur encampment and tearing off a guard's head with his bare hands. The other centaur charged at Garrosh as the former Warchief picked up the fallen warrior's axe and quickly got to work cutting down the centaur army. It wasn't long before Garrosh was bellowing in victory, covered in the blood of his enemies and surrounded by their dismembered corpses. An evil smile crossed the orc's lips as his eyes spotted another centaur camp several yards away, and from his mouth he screamed his father's legendary war cry as he charged: “Let's do this! GARROOOOOOOOOOOOSHH HELLLLLSCREEEEEEEEEEAM!!!”

And thus, the Adventures of Garrosh Hellscream began.